Survivor's Remorse
Oct. 12th, 2013 06:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
st_clare in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
birthright_rpgBoston, Massachusetts - 1978
There was a light rain falling on the cemetery, and that was fitting since the rain was where Allison had died. Black umbrellas were gathered near the gravesite, the pattering of water competing with the minister's speaking voice as he gave the final eulogy. Out of sight, two men waited with shovels to finish filling the hole with earth once the casket was lowered.
She'd been told, or rather 'advised', not to attend the funeral. That it would only prolong the emotional closeness, no matter how fleeting, that had been established. So she was here against orders, but she couldn't have stayed away.
The Slayer's parents were divorced, but they'd sat together in the pew at the church, and now they were huddled beneath the same umbrella. Julianna had tried to speak to them, to tell them that it was a beautiful service, but her guilt rivaled their shock and grief and she couldn't force the words out. The best she had been able to manage was to say a silent goodbye when attendees were asked if they wanted to pass by the coffin.
And to put the book in with the girl, the volume of Plato's works that Allison had been so fond of.
The rain picked up as the mourners began to depart for their cars, but Julianna remained, having hovered at the back of the gathering. It was unusually chilly for May. When the first shovelful of dirt struck the casket, she grabbed for Edmund's hand.
There was a light rain falling on the cemetery, and that was fitting since the rain was where Allison had died. Black umbrellas were gathered near the gravesite, the pattering of water competing with the minister's speaking voice as he gave the final eulogy. Out of sight, two men waited with shovels to finish filling the hole with earth once the casket was lowered.
She'd been told, or rather 'advised', not to attend the funeral. That it would only prolong the emotional closeness, no matter how fleeting, that had been established. So she was here against orders, but she couldn't have stayed away.
The Slayer's parents were divorced, but they'd sat together in the pew at the church, and now they were huddled beneath the same umbrella. Julianna had tried to speak to them, to tell them that it was a beautiful service, but her guilt rivaled their shock and grief and she couldn't force the words out. The best she had been able to manage was to say a silent goodbye when attendees were asked if they wanted to pass by the coffin.
And to put the book in with the girl, the volume of Plato's works that Allison had been so fond of.
The rain picked up as the mourners began to depart for their cars, but Julianna remained, having hovered at the back of the gathering. It was unusually chilly for May. When the first shovelful of dirt struck the casket, she grabbed for Edmund's hand.
no subject
on 2013-10-13 04:21 am (UTC)"Whatever you do, Julianna, don't tell the Council what you just told me."
no subject
on 2013-10-13 05:33 am (UTC)She allowed Edmund to lead her away because he'd requested it instead of ordering her. They'd shared his rental to get to the graveyard, and the female half of the pair slumped in the passenger seat as he started the engine. She wanted a drink, a brandy to make her warm. And then several gimlets.
If she ever came back here, Allison would be under the earth. If there was really a God, she was in His care. Julianna reached blindly for one of Edmund's hands.
"Can we..." She could barely say it, even to him, and she'd known him for a very long time. "Do we have to return to London immediately? The inquiry isn't for another fortnight. I'd like...I'd like to be alone with you."
no subject
on 2013-10-13 05:54 am (UTC)Or maybe he was lonely, too.
"If you refuse to take a break, at least consider a reassignment."
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on 2013-10-13 06:25 am (UTC)The gravediggers were finished now. Julianna could see them hurrying to get out of the miserably wet weather. It would be summer soon.
She was still holding Edmund's hand, and she brought it to her mouth to kiss his knuckles. Then she released it, letting him put it back on the wheel. They would get a room at the Holiday Inn. They would order room service and some alcohol. They would not talk, at least not much. He would comfort her body, because God knew he couldn't comfort her spirit.
"I'm glad you're here. You're the only one who can remotely understand."
no subject
on 2013-10-13 07:10 am (UTC)Eventually, she would have to face reality. But for now, he would try his best to help her forget.