And it was difficult not to make a snap judgment, but at the same time Julianna was just a little jealous. Mother had kept her close in her early youth; not unnaturally so, but close enough that her social life was carefully monitored and her friends, with few exceptions, were cherry-picked. Her first taste of real freedom happened when she left home to attend university, which was where she discovered physicality and the feelings that could be attached to it.
But as passionate as she'd been for Edmund, as ardent as the men she'd shared herself with since that time had found her, she'd never in her life fallen head over heels in love. There was always a small part of herself that she kept hidden, protected. That was why it had taken her such a short time to turn down the first and only proposal she'd gotten. She couldn't even say she'd 'come to her senses' when her mind had been made up before that. When he'd retreated from her, not just as her lover but as her friend, she'd wondered at her lack of missing him. She hadn't been unhappy when he married someone else, nor did she pine while they were apart. Yes, she'd been elated when he returned to her once his marriage was over, but in the interim? The occasional pang, nothing more.
But what Valerie was feeling...that was much different. Could she say she didn't envy it just a touch? No, not if she wanted to be honest. Not that she wanted to trade places, per se, but that small slice of envy was still there.
"You love him."
She said it without rancor and without condescension. "Or if it isn't love, then it's within shouting distance. You can say it, it's all right. We'll behave as if this never happened later if that's what you want. I'm English, I'm proficient at observing the proprieties and ignoring subtext. If it makes it easier, you may pretend that we just met."
She handed the box of Kleenex back to Valerie with a kind expression on her face. "I'm going to presume you didn't tell him everything you just told me. When you're having a row with someone, that's no time for letting them see the chinks in your armor. That only makes things worse."
Again, she lifted her hand. "I'm not saying you were wrong to keep it from him if that's what you did. He behaved rashly when he took whatever you said so personally, and it's possible that he even logically knew that you weren't trying to hurt his feelings or slight his ego. Unfortunately, as I said, logic rather goes out the window in the middle of a fight."
Julianna was loath to ask the next question, both because she didn't want to embarrass Valerie and because she wasn't the blonde's mother, God rest her soul. She was barely even the Slayer's Watcher. But she could provide reliable guidance in most areas, and she'd be foolish not to attempt to do so.
"Has there been...intimacy?"
The Englishwoman lifted her palm. She was beginning to feel like a policeman directing traffic. "I know it's none of my business, and I won't blame you if you snap at me, but I remember what it was like to be your age. That's why I've always wondered whose bloody brilliant idea it was to have adolescent girls be called as Slayers."
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2013-12-31 08:27 am (UTC)But as passionate as she'd been for Edmund, as ardent as the men she'd shared herself with since that time had found her, she'd never in her life fallen head over heels in love. There was always a small part of herself that she kept hidden, protected. That was why it had taken her such a short time to turn down the first and only proposal she'd gotten. She couldn't even say she'd 'come to her senses' when her mind had been made up before that. When he'd retreated from her, not just as her lover but as her friend, she'd wondered at her lack of missing him. She hadn't been unhappy when he married someone else, nor did she pine while they were apart. Yes, she'd been elated when he returned to her once his marriage was over, but in the interim? The occasional pang, nothing more.
But what Valerie was feeling...that was much different. Could she say she didn't envy it just a touch? No, not if she wanted to be honest. Not that she wanted to trade places, per se, but that small slice of envy was still there.
"You love him."
She said it without rancor and without condescension. "Or if it isn't love, then it's within shouting distance. You can say it, it's all right. We'll behave as if this never happened later if that's what you want. I'm English, I'm proficient at observing the proprieties and ignoring subtext. If it makes it easier, you may pretend that we just met."
She handed the box of Kleenex back to Valerie with a kind expression on her face. "I'm going to presume you didn't tell him everything you just told me. When you're having a row with someone, that's no time for letting them see the chinks in your armor. That only makes things worse."
Again, she lifted her hand. "I'm not saying you were wrong to keep it from him if that's what you did. He behaved rashly when he took whatever you said so personally, and it's possible that he even logically knew that you weren't trying to hurt his feelings or slight his ego. Unfortunately, as I said, logic rather goes out the window in the middle of a fight."
Julianna was loath to ask the next question, both because she didn't want to embarrass Valerie and because she wasn't the blonde's mother, God rest her soul. She was barely even the Slayer's Watcher. But she could provide reliable guidance in most areas, and she'd be foolish not to attempt to do so.
"Has there been...intimacy?"
The Englishwoman lifted her palm. She was beginning to feel like a policeman directing traffic. "I know it's none of my business, and I won't blame you if you snap at me, but I remember what it was like to be your age. That's why I've always wondered whose bloody brilliant idea it was to have adolescent girls be called as Slayers."