Valerie stood there for a second as he walked off. His words were like a slap in the face and it took a moment for the impact to really explode. Then a surge went through her and she followed him to his bedroom.
“I came here to be honest about what I thought I wanted, which was options. I mentioned the compromise to show you I wasn’t trying to exclude you. I discovered that I didn’t actually want them especially not at your expense. I try to convey how I feel and you throw it in my face that I’m clinging to you like some sort of life raft! Because how could I possibly have real feelings after having a moment of deep curiosity. Well I’m human! Mostly, and I fuck up! Like everyone else does. I could stand here and say I’m sorry until I turn blue but it wouldn’t make a difference to you because.... ”
The blonde wasn’t one for swearing. She wasn’t one for all out arguments either but things changed. Love was a disease, it rotted the mind, it took over common sense.
“Because you actually think that because I had an urge that it… It undermines everything I feel for you. Which is bullshit! I wouldn’t have shed a single tear over the fact that my own stupid fucking thoughts hurt you. You think I wanted to have that feeling? Because I didn’t! I’d rather get lobotomised than hurt you! In fact we both know a vampire who gladly would.”
Her hands were clenched, she felt her nails pierce the skin but she couldn’t move. She just stood there, shaking.
“Yes it occurred to me that you might need time but you passed it off like I needed it and it felt like... Like that was your polite way of dumping me then saying hey lets be friends! News flash Brian, your needs matter to me. Am I great at picking up on them? Probably not, but you stand there and accuse me of not caring about you like I’m some sort of heartless bitch that only cares about herself. Well screw your passive aggressive hostility! I have a heart! And it’s real and it’s big and it’s stupid because it has your name written all over it!”
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2013-12-27 04:22 am (UTC)“I came here to be honest about what I thought I wanted, which was options. I mentioned the compromise to show you I wasn’t trying to exclude you. I discovered that I didn’t actually want them especially not at your expense. I try to convey how I feel and you throw it in my face that I’m clinging to you like some sort of life raft! Because how could I possibly have real feelings after having a moment of deep curiosity. Well I’m human! Mostly, and I fuck up! Like everyone else does. I could stand here and say I’m sorry until I turn blue but it wouldn’t make a difference to you because.... ”
The blonde wasn’t one for swearing. She wasn’t one for all out arguments either but things changed. Love was a disease, it rotted the mind, it took over common sense.
“Because you actually think that because I had an urge that it… It undermines everything I feel for you. Which is bullshit! I wouldn’t have shed a single tear over the fact that my own stupid fucking thoughts hurt you. You think I wanted to have that feeling? Because I didn’t! I’d rather get lobotomised than hurt you! In fact we both know a vampire who gladly would.”
Her hands were clenched, she felt her nails pierce the skin but she couldn’t move. She just stood there, shaking.
“Yes it occurred to me that you might need time but you passed it off like I needed it and it felt like... Like that was your polite way of dumping me then saying hey lets be friends! News flash Brian, your needs matter to me. Am I great at picking up on them? Probably not, but you stand there and accuse me of not caring about you like I’m some sort of heartless bitch that only cares about herself. Well screw your passive aggressive hostility! I have a heart! And it’s real and it’s big and it’s stupid because it has your name written all over it!”