The Dive – Thread 3 (Back Stage)

[brian_campo]

The Fraying Nerves had another twenty minutes or so until their set, so a couple of the band members hung out behind the stage, a little off to the side, where they could see the crowd. Maddy sat down on a guitar case and picked at her fingernail polish. Brian noted that the case wasn’t hers, but didn’t care enough to point it out and start an argument, because he was pretty sure the brunette had PMS. He flexed his fingers and sat over a low wall that separated the crowd from the staging area, swinging his feet.


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[maddy_ricks]

"Hey! Campo!" Maddy tossed a red Bic lighter, which she had borrowed a few hours earlier and forgotten to return. She was pretty sure it was empty now. It pegged him in the back of the head and slipped into his shirt collar. "Whoops."

With an annoyed look, he felt around in his shirt for the object. "Nice. I don't even smoke, Maddy." He threw it back.

She caught it and frowned. "Oh right, that wasn't you." Shrugging that off, she got up and walked to the keyboardist's side. She hopped up on the wall and slung one leg over to straddle it.

[valerie_vause]

The Dive thrived with people. The band on stage was good, but with the night just getting started, they’d have another ready to go shortly. Valerie had slipped through the crowd after her first beer and now she casually checked out the darker, more hidden areas. Nothing iffy had been found until she turned to peek backstage. The blonde blinked, then felt herself grin as she stepped into view with a cheeky little, “So this is where you play.”

She could have pretended to be offended that he’d never told her, but she wasn’t. Maybe he hadn’t been ready to see her in the crowd while he was on stage. Valerie tilted her head, the grin still in place as she looked at Brian. “Now I get to see if the fingering techniques that guy taught you were any goo-oh god!” She clocked the girl just behind him on the wall and felt heat scorch up her neck. “Hey there, I’m perpetually putting my foot in my mouth.” The blonde shook her head and smiled through a cringe. “Valerie.” The blonde added and motioned to herself.

[maddy_ricks]

Maddy snorted loudly. "Fingering techniques?" She leaned around Brian to check out the cute blonde standing beside her band mate. "Screw him, I could show you a few--"

Brian reached across and covered the brunette's mouth. "Shut up!"

"Mmph!"

"Say. Nothing!" he said, then cringed as the bassist licked his palm. "God, you're sick." He wiped the saliva on his pant leg. "Valerie, this is Madeleine. Mads, this is my girlfriend, so please keep your fingers and your tongue to yourself."

Maddy smirked. She slung her second leg over the wall and hopped onto the cement floor alongside Valerie. "Well," she clapped a hand on the girl's shoulder. "You know where to find me if you change your mind."

[valerie_vause]

“I…” Valerie’s mouth hung open as the girl’s words hit and she found herself looking at her a little more intently than she’d intended. Had that been a joke to wind up Brian or was she actually being hit on? Personally as a girl who tended to go with the flow of life she’d never labelled her own sexuality beyond fluid so it didn’t freak her out. It did however intensify the blush.

The back and forth between the two band members evoked a short burst of laughter as she watched. “You know Brian, telling her to say nothing makes me want to hear everything she has to say. Huge flaw in that plan.” Valerie lifted one shoulder in a lazy shrug as amusement radiated through her short frame. “So what’s she not meant to say?”

Eyebrows raised when Brian instructed Madeleine to keep her fingers and tongue to herself. Then all of a sudden she was standing next to her, a hand on her shoulder. Valerie turned to look at the girl as she bit her lip thoughtfully. Madeleine was a few inches taller than her, and her hand was distractingly warm. “I honestly can’t be sure if you’re being serious or just messing with me.” She admitted bemused.

[brian_campo]

Brian pulled on his earlobe and cleared his throat. "Does, uh... does it matter?"

Damn. Was he going to watch his relationship become one of those confusing 'open' things so soon, right before his very eyes? If a guy had hit on Valerie, Brian had no doubt he'd make an ass of himself by punching him on the spot, but he probably shouldn't make a habit of punching girls, especially not girls he knew. His stomach churned and he pushed a palm against the spot, rather than act like a jealous boyfriend.

Maddy perked up. "I'm serious, but I wouldn't do anything to hurt our boy Brian. He's sensitive." She nodded and gave him a sympathetic look. "Besides, I have never heard him call anyone his girlfriend before. Not even that sock he keeps--"

"Ugh." Brian dropped his head back. "Fuuuuuck you..." he mumbled, then gave his attention to Valerie. "She's lying. There's no sock." He reached out and put his fingertips over the bassist's face. He gave it a gentle but insistent push, the way one might rough up a younger sister.

[valerie_vause]

Green eyes sought out Brian and she grinned slightly. He’s jealous. She thought, and tried not to point it out.

“Well, yeah.” Valerie stated innocently. “Don’t you feel flattered when someone attractive hits on you?” She turned then to regard Madeleine and grinned with mischief. “On the other hand if she was just messing with me I would have played back, to both wind you up and amuse myself.”

Valerie chuckled as she watched them both. They were quite comical, no doubt had known each other for years because there was a comfortable kind of vibe between them that made the teasing easy. The blonde stuck her hands into her jeans pockets and rocked back onto her heels.

“If there was it would be the saddest little sock puppet ever.” Valerie tried to keep her face straight as she nodded. Then brought one hand up to hold next to her face and made it talk. “But I don’t want to do it again. It’s dark and always rains.” She said in her best muppet's kind of voice.

[maddy_ricks]

"Ha!" Maddy stepped back and batted the hand away from her face. "I like her." She took in the downtrodden expression in his eyes. "You see, Brian, it's funny because it's a sock puppet, but it's also one of those gym socks that guys jack off into so they don't make a mess--"

"Jesus." Brian scrubbed his hands over his face. "Maddy!" He shouted and flailed. "Would you just--"

She lifted her shoulders, all innocent confusion. "What?" The striped pink-and-white tank top she wore, in conjunction with a huge set of overalls, lent a childlike appearance to the girl that her personality could not -- would not -- back up. "I'm being helpful." She smiled and mussed the front of his hair. "Look at your bangs, you've got girl bangs."

Brian ignored her and stared at Valerie while his hair was ruffled this way and that. His hands laid loosely in his lap as the hits just kept coming. "Don't encourage her. And you called her attractive. She looks like a ten-year-old, so you should ask yourself a few questions."

[valerie_vause]

Valerie flashed a smile towards Maddy as if silently stating she liked her too before turning to Brian as he shouted. Honestly she thought the entire situation was amusing but clearly he didn’t. The blonde had to wonder why her question had bothered him so much, it wasn’t like she’d ignored his existence to flirt, she just wanted to know if she was being teased the way he had been.

“I…” Valerie took in a slow breath as her own word came back to bite her, but before she could say anything he continued on. She actually closed her mouth and lifted her chin as his words sunk in.

“So let me get this straight.” Valerie began slowly, “You basically stated she looks like a little boy and by doing so suggest I’m akin to a pedophile because why would I possibly find her attractive. And here I thought beauty was in the eye of the beholder.”

Valerie brought both her hands up to run through her hair as she looked up at the ceiling and sighed. She could dissect Madeleine and pick apart why she thought she was attractive but she wouldn’t do that to the girl, it was distasteful as much as disrespectful. Instead she shrugged, offered a smile to her and said, “It was really nice meeting you, Madeleine. I think I’m going to go grab a drink now.”

[brian_campo]

“Whoa.” That sent up an alarm bell. He signaled to Maddy to quit futzing with his hair, and the brunette recoiled and put her palms in the air.

‘Sorry!’ she mouthed before climbing back over the wall. There was a guitar in need of… something.

He shook his head. The two of them were cool. They were locked in perpetual bullying mode and didn’t take one another’s comments in offense.

“Wait a minute,” he said, sliding off the wall and gently touching Valerie’s elbow. He leaned in closer so she could hear him. “I never said she looks like a boy. Just a ten year old. A ten year old girl. Mostly because she’s dressed like one. It’s got nothing to do with…” He trailed off, deciding that the sentence was headed nowhere good. Maddy was one of the chillest girls he knew; he’d hardly disparage her looks.

“And, second of all, I thought we were joking. She hit on my girlfriend,” he counted off his thoughts on his free hand. “Said I’ve got a chick’s haircut… And you two joked about me jerking off in a sock, but I’m in trouble for my comeback?” He was lost.

[valerie_vause]

Two steps then she felt his hand on her elbow. Valerie turned to look at him but said nothing until he had finished talking. “Either way a ten year old is, well, ten.” She made a face that said the idea made her sick and she shook her head.

“What she said and what I said were entirely different things. I never said the hypothetical sock was yours, just that if one existed for that purpose it would be a really sad sock puppet. Which, I stand by.”

Valerie pushed a few strands of blonde hair behind her ear and frowned up at Brian. “I never said you were in trouble, the situation was awkward when you put a spotlight on attraction by saying I should ask myself questions.” She lifted her arms up in a shrug just to let them slap against her thighs. When she spoke her voice was hushed, the tone confused, not angry. “What exactly does that mean? Do I give you the impression that I just run off with anyone and everyone I think looks nice?”

[brian_campo]

"What? No." Brian squeezed his eyes shut and scratched at the space between his brows. He had no idea why the conversation had derailed, and when he tried to hone in on it and come up with something logical to say, his mind just blanked out. Probably from stress. Did he think that Valerie was distracted by other people like some people were distracted by shiny objects? No. Was he clueless as to how to joke around with a girl who wasn't Maddy or a groupie? Yes.

"To be fair, it was awkward for me way before that," he said. "But... y'know, everything's awkward for me. I roll out of the bed and I feel awkward. As for us," he gestured between the two of them, "I don't know what I'm doing!"

A humorless laugh chuffed out of his chest.

[valerie_vause]

“Well ditto. I didn’t expect to get hit on by your band mate and I wasn’t going to be rude about it either.” Valerie’s words were quiet, she wasn’t arguing with him just making a point. Maybe if he’d mentioned that he had a girlfriend the incident wouldn’t have happened, but that was personal information and perhaps he had wanted to keep it to himself.

“Panicking, by the looks of it.” She said gently, still frowning as she raised a hand up to fix his hair with a lingering touch to his cheek. “Don’t feel threatened by other people. I’m yours as long as you want me.”

[brian_campo]

"I'm not. I'm not," he said again, just to emphasize it. No, he wasn't threatened by other people, but he was clearly threatened by something. Brian just needed to figure out what. His forehead wrinkled in pursuit of that thought. He was out of his depth more often than not lately. His own abilities, his knowledge of the world, his foray into relationship territory.

He couldn't remember the last time he floundered like this, and while he fumbled, life just kept flying at him. Brian had this frantic feeling that if he didn't figure it all out fast, he was going to lose out.

"I'm sorry," he offered. There were better ways to introduce Valerie to his friends. "Maddy's a good person. She's just like a mad chemist. She likes to pour it on and see what explodes. And I'm an idiot." His smile was embarrassed.

[valerie_vause]

“Talk to me, please? What’s bothering you? You can tell me, and ask me, anything.” Valerie watched his face, saw the frown and chewed the inside of her lip. Relationships weren’t something she formed with people. Seperate had been the implied life once she’d been let loose on the world. It had stuck. “I’ll never lie to you Brian. My life might be complicated but I don’t want our relationship to be.”

Lips quirked into a smile at the apology and she shrugged lightly, “Me too. And I like Maddy, she seems like a lot of fun to be around.” Though she paused to catch his chin with her finger tips to make sure their eyes met before she continued softly, “You are not an idiot.”

Valerie brushed a few strands of hair off her cheek and took in a slow breath. There was no reason to let some random awkwardness ruin the rest of the night, granted she wasn’t the type to dwell on things like that anyway. “So can I join you guys before you take the stage and have to endure me dancing my support?” She eyed him curiously and leaned in with a slight grin. “What do you do back here anyway, pre-show rituals?”

[brian_campo]

Brian ran one of his palms up and down Valerie’s arm. She wanted him to talk; he wasn’t great at that. Usually, when he tried to explain himself, he experienced a crippling loss for words, and all he could do was stand there like a mute, fiddle his hands, do something inappropriate like laugh, and then hide in a corner with a drink. But he was willing to try. Just on another night, when his buddies weren’t staring at them from ten feet away.

“I’ll show you.” Here was an opportunity to share his passion, on his terms, on his turf. “C’mon,” he said. Brian put his hands around her waist and lifted her onto the wall. Then he snatched his hands back. Uh oh. Was that a massive screw-up? Was it better to do the manly thing, even if she didn’t need it?

‘Fuck it. You second guess everything, you’ll look pretty dickless.’

He hopped up beside her and spun his legs to the other side. As he jumped down, he started talking. “That guy beside Maddy is Seth. He sings and plays guitar. He’s kind of a rage-a-holic but he’s harmless. Like a hamster on steroids. The guy with the drumsticks is Mikey.”

[valerie_vause]

Brian felt like a mystery to Valerie, sometimes he barely said anything at all and still managed to captivate her entirely. His body said things his tongue either couldn’t or wouldn’t and it fascinated the blonde to know there was so much more to him than he probably thought himself. She was ready to follow him anywhere when his hands found her waist, the slightest little intake of breath, as electricity left her insides fluttering.

He picked her up like she weighed nothing at all and placed her down gently. Valerie moved her hands to reach for his but he took them back too quickly. The blonde tilted her head with a smile. Was it her strength that made him nervous? “I like when you do things like that.” She said encouragingly, albeit coy. “You make me feel...” She paused, searching for a word. “Delicate. I’ve never felt like that before.”

Valerie took in the other two band members and waved cheerfully before she slid off the wall to catch up with Brian. “I’m picturing a hamster lifting weights now. With a little sweat band on and shorts.” When she reached his side she slipped her hand into his back pocket to give a playful squeeze as much as be close to him. Though she hadn’t intended to raid his pockets her fingers caught onto a little plastic baggy and she held it up curiously, “What’s this?”

[brian_campo]

Brian thought about the baggy, just as she reached into his pocket. He had only enough time to flinch before Valerie’s fingers held up the crinkly object. “Ahh… that— ” How was he going to play this? As he stood there studying Valerie’s face, he thought about the only woman in his life who’d been vested enough to comment on it. His mother hadn’t been a big fan of substance use, not in his dad, not in him. There was always a heap of guilt – ‘What if your sister saw you do this?’ – like he would ever be that stupid. Madeleine didn’t use, but she didn’t care who did.

‘Just be straight with her.’

“Right now, I’m relieved it’s not a condom,” he said, cracking a lopsided smile. “Because that would be uncomfortable.” His fingers floated through his hair and scratched lightly at his scalp. “Those are, uh… those are my pre-show ritual. Not tonight. I won’t.” He reached out his palm in case she wanted to give them back; getting arrested for carrying probably wasn’t on her to-do list for the weekend.

[valerie_vause]

One golden eyebrow raised at the condom remark and she resisted the urge to quip that he could carry a whole pack providing her name was written all over them. Instead she grinned a little and watched as he held out his hand. Valerie twirled the little bag in her fingers and brought it up to view more closely. Several pills resided inside, and from what Brian said she doubted they were prescription medication. From the time they’d spent together she knew he wasn’t an addict, he had no signs of it, which meant they were purely recreational.

The blonde dipped her head as she played his words over in her mind, then took a step closer just to gaze up at him through her lashes. “Why not, because I’m here?” Valerie lifted her chin up to look at him. “What do they do?” Careful fingers pulled the plastic open and dipped inside to fish out two, then she sealed it again and slipped it back into his pocket with a lingering touch to his hip.

“I’ve never taken anything before.” The words were soft, curious, as she studied the small pills cradled in her palm. She plucked one up to place into his hand and held the other between her finger tips. “You’ve embraced everything about me.” Valerie looked up at him, offered a smile and a shrug, “I can do the same. No judgement.” To prove it she slipped the pill between her lips and worked up enough saliva to swallow it without coughing.

[brian_campo]

Brian opened his mouth to protest, but just like that, Valerie had popped the pill, and he wasn’t going to pretend she was a kid or pet and pry her mouth open to fish it out again. His knee-jerk reaction was to be worried she’d taken it –because he didn’t want any harm to come to her. Some people didn’t like how drugs hit them, and he’d pretty much kick his own ass if Valerie had a bad experience. If he’d known she would be downing one of those pills, he would have scrutinized his dealer a little more.

But she was a big girl. Probably had ten times the constitution he did. He swallowed the angst party at the same time she swallowed the pill.

“I can’t believe you did that,” he said, laughing nervously.

“Alright.” He took his, too, and leaned in to kiss her as the pill went down his throat. Both of his hands held her head, a possessive gesture that told his band mates anything they hadn’t figured out when Maddy yapped (which she had undoubtedly done). Brian ran his thumbs across her cheeks. He realized it was the first real public display of affection, and he had a paranoid feeling that everybody was staring, but it was still awesome. He ended the kiss and leaned into her ear. “This one makes me feel like you do. Kinda warm and loose and blurry around the edges. Then the room turns colors.”

On stage, the other band wrapped their set. The small crowd cheered. Immediately, Maddy flicked a guitar pick at them. “Let’s get a move on, Loverboy,” she called. The speed with which it happened meant that she’d been waiting for the right moment to do it.

“I’ve gotta help set up,” he said. “Don’t go anywhere, okay?”

[valerie_vause]

“I can be wild.”

The statement was light, mischievous, as Valerie grinned at his nervous laughter. Sure she’d heard her share of horror stories about bad trips but she doubted one pill would do any kind of harm. Especially if Brian had taken them before and was still standing. Perhaps she should have asked first but when it came to him she found herself being impulsive rather than cautious. It wouldn’t have been something she’d decide to do alone, but with Brian, with him she wanted to try everything. She came to the conclusion that if she was going to die young anyway, now was the time to live.

Green eyes watched intently as he took his pill and a thrill ran through the blonde when he leaned down to kiss her. The way he held her in that moment caused a shiver. Valerie recognised it as much as felt it, a sign that she was claimed, his alone. No wonder her arms wrapped around his waist as a happy little sound escaped into his mouth. She felt gooey inside, all warm and filled with emotions she didn’t quite understand but liked all the same. “Really?” She grinned stupidly against his neck before mumbling against the flesh, “That sounds kind of amazing.”

Now that she knew what to expect she wouldn’t be obsessing over when it might start. Valerie laughed when the pick hit them, and watched it bounce on the ground as they pulled apart. “Okay.” She said in breathy whisper. “I’ll see you in a minute.”

Valerie watched him for a moment with a silly grin then shook her head. The pill hadn’t kicked in yet, Brian just made her giddy. Bending over, fingers plucked up the guitar pick and she twiddled it for a second then pushed it into her back pocket. Later, she’d flick it back at Maddy when she least expected it. For now, Valerie made her way over to the wall and sat on the floor with her back pressed against it and waited.

[brian_campo]

Brian tugged gently at a lock of Valerie’s hair, and then he joined the other guys in hauling their gear onto the stage. There was a traffic jam at the ramp, two bands going in opposite directions. Brian sucked his stomach into his ribcage to squeeze past a guitarist. On stage it was oppressively hot. The combined body heat of the audience and overhead lighting turned it into a sauna. Brian wiped forehead sweat onto his sleeve and fanned his shirt away from his stomach. He set up his Oberheim`5 and helped check the mic levels for Madeleine, who made the last-minute announcement that she had to pee and jumped off the stage. “Yeah, that tends to happen when you drink a two-liter of Mountain Dew,” he muttered and adjusted the height of the mic stand.

Brian looked out into the audience. The faces stretched and tilted for an instant, and then straightened back out. He wondered if Valerie was feeling it yet.

“I’m here!” She grabbed her bass and kicked an empty beer can out of her way.

He put on his headphones and waited for Seth to kick things off. The lights lowered into a blue haze and his fingers found a comfortable resting position on the keys. Out of the corner of Brian’s eye, he tried to spot Valerie’s head of blonde hair. If his self-medicated arms didn’t already feel like two pieces of licorice, he would have started fidgeting with the levels.

‘Oh shit. What if she hates it? Please, Valerie. Be too nice to say it.’ He shook his head to purge that line of thinking just as things got going. The music was a moody blend of dark wave and punk, and the set lasted through six songs of varying tempos.