Damn the Man

[maddy_ricks]

At twenty-four years old, Madeleine Ricks was trapped in the body of a fifteen year old. Or so it appeared to the rest of the world. At 5’5”, she was of average height, but thin as a rail with limited curvature. The results were infuriating. Carded for alcohol, carded for smokes, and the latest insult, carded for Gore Fest at the Huntridge Theater. Only this time, she had stuffed cash in the pocket of her overalls and left her ID card at home.

The employee – who had barely scratched eighteen himself – suggested she bring her mother to sign a release form.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” she screeched. She slapped her palms on the plexi-glass that separated the ticket salesman from the throng of fans splattered in fake blood outside. Making a scene wouldn’t get her anywhere. On a cognitive level, Maddy understood it. But she had a hell of a temper. She grabbed the paper and rolled it up lengthwise. “Do me a favor, okay? Heh… you take this release form and you gently guide it up your pimple-covered ass!”

She left the window and paced in front of the building, chewing a hangnail.

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[maddy_ricks]

“Deal,” she whispered.

As the first images came onto the screen, she smiled knowingly. “Look at that,” she pointed, “A chick in a non-regulation skirt. That’s not passing the fingertip test. She’s toast.” She slurped some Doctor Pepper up her makeshift straw and settled in, ready to obnoxiously point out every slasher flick trope the moment it became apparent. At least she had someone to laugh alongside her.

[devin_capshaw]

Devin drank an inch or two of his Coke, chasing it with another handful of popcorn. He hadn't eaten dinner yet, so this was the next best thing. That guy in the front row has nachos. Who even sits in the front row?

"Some people never learn," he replied. "Next thing she'll be in her boyfriend's car, getting to second, and -- " Devin dragged his finger across his neck.

"Someone's dinner."

[maddy_ricks]

“Right, but what if it’s him?” she asked. “What is our girl here shimmies downtown and it turns out she’s the catholic school cannibal? Eh?” She was impressed with herself for coming up with the theory, partially because it would be an unexpected plot twist, and partly because it might make her right about the castration bit. Winning was the real priority.

“Shh!”

“Oh, buzz off,” Maddy mumbled.

[devin_capshaw]

"That would be awesome, though," he pointed out. "Girls can be villains just as much as guys can."

Devin looked around to see if he could spot the shush-er. "Oh, so sorry. We might miss a key piece of dialogue."

There was a lightning flash on screen. "I call power outage."

[maddy_ricks]

She snickered at his comeback. “But if they turn out all the lights, how will see through her rain-soaked t-shirt?” she countered. “Oh, right, the lightning. Wait, why are they at school at nighttime, parent-teacher conference?”

The butter on her fingers had reached epic proportions. Having neglected to pick up napkins, Maddy looked around for a suitable alternative. Based on the texture of her chair, she assumed it had served the purpose in the past, but that was just gross. She settled for her pant leg.

[devin_capshaw]

"Logic has no place here," he shot back. "You're over-thinking. You're probably thinking more than whoever wrote this script."

He heard a grumble come from somewhere behind them. Were he and Maddy the only ones aware that a bad movie begged for commentary from the cheap seats?

The score turned ominous.

[maddy_ricks]

“Oh! Oh!” Maddy scrambled to get her legs up in the seat, far too excited to sit still. “Here-it-comes-here-it-comes…” A rope appeared around the girl’s neck as she was dragged into a janitor’s closet, though the killer's face remained unseen. A slash across the waist and intestines spilled on the floor.

‘Aragagaggghhhhhh!’

“Yes!” Maddy’s voice joined a chorus of others in the theatre. “Corn syrup soaked pantyhose full chocolate pudding.”

Naturally the next shot was of a cafeteria employee serving links of Italian sausage onto a food tray.

[devin_capshaw]

Devin bit his thumbnail, wincing. "That's rough," he commented. He righted the bucket of popcorn that Maddy had upended in her near manic excitement.

"I also won't be eating sausage anytime soon. Thankfully that's not one of the Nugget's better dishes."