Rabbits as Pets: A Guide
Apr. 13th, 2014 12:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
daniel_stacy in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
birthright_rpgAt 5 a.m., Daniel collapsed on his couch, his weight sending throw pillows flying as he cracked the library book and started to read. Socrates, his new furry roommate, crouched in the open cage with its water and food supply. His nose twitched.
“Important things to know before you adopt,” the vampire read aloud. “That ship has sailed.” He turned a page and began again. “The weight of a domestic rabbit can range from two pounds to over twenty, depending upon breed. Rabbits also display natural habits like chewing and digging, which can frustrate new owners. Huh.”
He cut his eyes at the animal. The rabbit looked away.
Daniel cleared his throat and flipped to the chapter on marking.
“Male un-neutered rabbits tend to spray. Well, at least that’s taken care of. Balls," he made a scissoring gesture, "Snipped. However, both male and female rabbits pass fecal pellets containing anal gland... secretions?! Some rabbits consider human beings their property and may, in fact, mark them. Come on, what the fuck!”
Tossing the book aside, Daniel sat up. He stared at the animal, his palms rubbing the lower half of his face, his hair standing on end. This was an acute case of buyer’s remorse. He couldn’t remember why he brought this thing home in the first place. He was hungry, the butcher was out of blood, but then that cute Asian girl went all googly-eyed over the rabbit and suddenly Daniel was shelling out cash to bring it home.
If Socrates was the reason he didn’t get his security deposit back, he was going to make all four of its feet into key chains.
Normal people adopted dogs. Cats. A tank full of fish. But this, this was the anti-dude pet, and he’d been unreasonably persuaded by that girl’s cooing noises. Maybe he’d read all the signs wrong and it wasn’t that he was hungry at all.
“I need to get laid,” Daniel muttered. He nodded.
He got up and shelled out of his t-shirt. “Damn youuuu, Holly Pirnerrrrrr,” he sang to the empty apartment, his voice a pleasant tenor as he turned the faucet knobs.
He wondered if cold showers still worked.
“Important things to know before you adopt,” the vampire read aloud. “That ship has sailed.” He turned a page and began again. “The weight of a domestic rabbit can range from two pounds to over twenty, depending upon breed. Rabbits also display natural habits like chewing and digging, which can frustrate new owners. Huh.”
He cut his eyes at the animal. The rabbit looked away.
Daniel cleared his throat and flipped to the chapter on marking.
“Male un-neutered rabbits tend to spray. Well, at least that’s taken care of. Balls," he made a scissoring gesture, "Snipped. However, both male and female rabbits pass fecal pellets containing anal gland... secretions?! Some rabbits consider human beings their property and may, in fact, mark them. Come on, what the fuck!”
Tossing the book aside, Daniel sat up. He stared at the animal, his palms rubbing the lower half of his face, his hair standing on end. This was an acute case of buyer’s remorse. He couldn’t remember why he brought this thing home in the first place. He was hungry, the butcher was out of blood, but then that cute Asian girl went all googly-eyed over the rabbit and suddenly Daniel was shelling out cash to bring it home.
If Socrates was the reason he didn’t get his security deposit back, he was going to make all four of its feet into key chains.
Normal people adopted dogs. Cats. A tank full of fish. But this, this was the anti-dude pet, and he’d been unreasonably persuaded by that girl’s cooing noises. Maybe he’d read all the signs wrong and it wasn’t that he was hungry at all.
“I need to get laid,” Daniel muttered. He nodded.
He got up and shelled out of his t-shirt. “Damn youuuu, Holly Pirnerrrrrr,” he sang to the empty apartment, his voice a pleasant tenor as he turned the faucet knobs.
He wondered if cold showers still worked.