The sound of his voice brought Valerie back, and she broke away from his arm with a chaste kiss to the skin she’d just adorned with attention. Green eyes searched his gaze for a good few seconds, checking, making sure that what he said he truly meant. She’d been honest that day, confused considerably about a lot, but honest with him that he was the only man she wanted. The only one that made her feel like running off into the sunset with him even though she knew deep down that she couldn’t. The chance to be something together, the potential to be bound by vows and simple circles of metal. The car, the kids, the house. If she shut her eyes she could picture it, like a mirage on the horizon, promising what her destiny couldn’t possibly fulfill.
Yes, it conflicted with other desires, but they were fleeting and he was a constant. They were the equivalent of dining at a new restaurant with a questionable menu while he was the five star chef constantly offering her palate refreshing surprises. She could live without one of them, just not him. It terrified her to know she’d run off with Brian if he asked, but she was young and he made her feel alive. He made the impossible feel possible, and maybe it made her a little emotionally erratic and overwhelmed but wasn’t that the point? Didn’t love make you crazy? And wasn’t she, even just a little bit, just that? Emotions may never make much sense to the blonde but her instinct had never let her down.
Instinct compelled her to listen to his words as if he were on his death bed. She absorbed them with an almost sobering clarity and nodded in return. Valerie couldn’t promise forever's. She couldn’t promise that she wouldn’t panic. That her emotions might fluctuate and she’d flounder, but she could promise him honesty. “No secrets.” She repeated with determination. “I can do that. We can do that.” Because if he was willing to accept her, all of her, dark and light, serious and flaky, then he deserved nothing less. “I’m not always going to know what I need, but I will always be honest with you. No hiding, not from you.” And she meant it with every fiber of her being.
Valerie felt her heart swell as her insides threatened to turn to mush. The L word had caused immense panic, and it probably would again, but the fact that Brian made an effort to tone it down only made her feel more for him. Strange as it might sound the blonde only feared it because it was like a reflection, and she wasn’t ready to embrace it, because to embrace it would be to ultimately deny the fantasy of what they could be when she had to settle for what they weren’t. The fuzzy warm feelings shifted to a more moderate blaze with his next words, and the way he pulled her up onto her tiptoes left her feeling as light as a feather.
Whether it was inappropriate or not for a dance-floor, Valerie bounced on her toes and shifted her hands up to his shoulders to wrap her legs around his waist. Everyone else be damned, she wanted to be face to face with him, feel his breath mingle with hers as she looked into his eyes. “Is that so?” She asked over the music, lips just shy of grazing his as her hips shifted slightly against him so that she could cross her ankles. The tips of her fingers wove into the short hairs at the base of his neck and she scratched her nails lightly against the skin.
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ninetydegrees
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on 2014-03-11 12:07 am (UTC)Yes, it conflicted with other desires, but they were fleeting and he was a constant. They were the equivalent of dining at a new restaurant with a questionable menu while he was the five star chef constantly offering her palate refreshing surprises. She could live without one of them, just not him. It terrified her to know she’d run off with Brian if he asked, but she was young and he made her feel alive. He made the impossible feel possible, and maybe it made her a little emotionally erratic and overwhelmed but wasn’t that the point? Didn’t love make you crazy? And wasn’t she, even just a little bit, just that? Emotions may never make much sense to the blonde but her instinct had never let her down.
Instinct compelled her to listen to his words as if he were on his death bed. She absorbed them with an almost sobering clarity and nodded in return. Valerie couldn’t promise forever's. She couldn’t promise that she wouldn’t panic. That her emotions might fluctuate and she’d flounder, but she could promise him honesty. “No secrets.” She repeated with determination. “I can do that. We can do that.” Because if he was willing to accept her, all of her, dark and light, serious and flaky, then he deserved nothing less. “I’m not always going to know what I need, but I will always be honest with you. No hiding, not from you.” And she meant it with every fiber of her being.
Valerie felt her heart swell as her insides threatened to turn to mush. The L word had caused immense panic, and it probably would again, but the fact that Brian made an effort to tone it down only made her feel more for him. Strange as it might sound the blonde only feared it because it was like a reflection, and she wasn’t ready to embrace it, because to embrace it would be to ultimately deny the fantasy of what they could be when she had to settle for what they weren’t. The fuzzy warm feelings shifted to a more moderate blaze with his next words, and the way he pulled her up onto her tiptoes left her feeling as light as a feather.
Whether it was inappropriate or not for a dance-floor, Valerie bounced on her toes and shifted her hands up to his shoulders to wrap her legs around his waist. Everyone else be damned, she wanted to be face to face with him, feel his breath mingle with hers as she looked into his eyes. “Is that so?” She asked over the music, lips just shy of grazing his as her hips shifted slightly against him so that she could cross her ankles. The tips of her fingers wove into the short hairs at the base of his neck and she scratched her nails lightly against the skin.