For someone so optimistic Valerie struggled with trust. A product of her training that had made her capable of building so many walls around herself. There was a downside to being so adept at it. Invisible barriers that kept everyone out, at arms length, where she could convince herself that they couldn’t touch her. Not the way she could potentially touch them. A fortress of protection that had, for many years, worked wonders. Recent events had been entirely different, whether it be human or demon, the blonde had began to let those walls slip ever so slightly. It wouldn’t take much effort to rebuild the parts that had been chipped away but that wasn’t the point. She didn’t want too.
So it was with great internal debate that she finally met the Watcher’s gaze, face blank and voice clear, a bluff that it didn’t matter one way or the other. “I want to swing back to the dreams and stuff but yeah, I want to speak about…” Valerie willed her foot to stop it’s incessant tapping, sat up straighter, and gripped her mug tightly. “Here’s the thing, I take my responsibilities very seriously, and for years I’ve wandered through life without people and that was fine, you know, no big deal.”
Green eyes found the sky, then the table, then Julianna as the blonde let out a breath. “Since coming here, attending school, the environment of camaraderie…” Slender shoulders lifted to convey the ambivalence she felt. “Living my life separate, without people in my life, friends, it’s not working for me anymore. I think… With the solitary years of sheer dedication… I… I…” Valerie’s teeth chewed the inside of her lips but she forced herself to continue. “I want to have that little slice of normality. To be able to go to the movies with a group of people and not worry that I’ll be reprimanded, to meet people and develop friendships, to hang out and talk about b-uh, s-stuff, like a normal girl. Student! I wouldn’t shirk my duties either.”
Valerie ran her thumbs across the warmth of the mug and finished with a simple sigh of, “I want to live while I still can without fear or guilt.”
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ninetydegrees
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on 2013-12-08 05:17 am (UTC)So it was with great internal debate that she finally met the Watcher’s gaze, face blank and voice clear, a bluff that it didn’t matter one way or the other. “I want to swing back to the dreams and stuff but yeah, I want to speak about…” Valerie willed her foot to stop it’s incessant tapping, sat up straighter, and gripped her mug tightly. “Here’s the thing, I take my responsibilities very seriously, and for years I’ve wandered through life without people and that was fine, you know, no big deal.”
Green eyes found the sky, then the table, then Julianna as the blonde let out a breath. “Since coming here, attending school, the environment of camaraderie…” Slender shoulders lifted to convey the ambivalence she felt. “Living my life separate, without people in my life, friends, it’s not working for me anymore. I think… With the solitary years of sheer dedication… I… I…” Valerie’s teeth chewed the inside of her lips but she forced herself to continue. “I want to have that little slice of normality. To be able to go to the movies with a group of people and not worry that I’ll be reprimanded, to meet people and develop friendships, to hang out and talk about b-uh, s-stuff, like a normal girl. Student! I wouldn’t shirk my duties either.”
Valerie ran her thumbs across the warmth of the mug and finished with a simple sigh of, “I want to live while I still can without fear or guilt.”