Was Cyrus right? Was it hubris that was partly fueling her guilt? Edmund had told her that she'd convinced herself she was responsible for Allison's death because she needed control, needed it to the point that she'd believe something horrible. Julianna struggled to separate emotion from cold logic.
"I believe in the Council's work," she said after a silence. "When I was first approached to join our ranks, I knew it was an honor and a privilege to mold girls into warriors so that they could battle the forces of evil. That was quite a few years ago, when I was much younger. Since then, I've unwaveringly dedicated myself to the Council's ideals. Determination, hard work, the imparting of knowledge. I knew there would be sacrifices if I chose that path, and I made them because I believe."
Another silence. Julianna picked up her teacup and took a sip. It was rapidly cooling. China rattled as she set the cup back down. "Perhaps it was a moment of weakness, but I reached out to her because she was lonely. I befriended her. I know it violates protocol, that we aren't supposed to develop attachments to our assets. I wasn't even truly comfortable with it. I didn't want a daughter and she didn't need a mother."
The Watcher closed her eyes, then opened them again to look at Cyrus frankly. "It must seem terribly arrogant to you."
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ninetydegrees
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on 2013-11-01 01:15 am (UTC)"I believe in the Council's work," she said after a silence. "When I was first approached to join our ranks, I knew it was an honor and a privilege to mold girls into warriors so that they could battle the forces of evil. That was quite a few years ago, when I was much younger. Since then, I've unwaveringly dedicated myself to the Council's ideals. Determination, hard work, the imparting of knowledge. I knew there would be sacrifices if I chose that path, and I made them because I believe."
Another silence. Julianna picked up her teacup and took a sip. It was rapidly cooling. China rattled as she set the cup back down. "Perhaps it was a moment of weakness, but I reached out to her because she was lonely. I befriended her. I know it violates protocol, that we aren't supposed to develop attachments to our assets. I wasn't even truly comfortable with it. I didn't want a daughter and she didn't need a mother."
The Watcher closed her eyes, then opened them again to look at Cyrus frankly. "It must seem terribly arrogant to you."