"I haven't been around to tell you," Brian said. "I can't leave it on your machine. This is the first time since I learned this stuff that the topic's come up. Besides, it's hardly like I'm keeping secrets. I told you I love you. That's open. As for public places..." He rubbed his forehead. "I mean, shit Valerie, I was trying to push a button, not move a car."
Brian considered himself a non-confrontational person; he usually avoided it like the plague, couldn't even stand being in the room while other people argued. But something about Valerie's accusations was cutting him really deep.
He shared things with her he couldn't tell his family or friends, and it wasn't fast enough.
He got excited to talk about what he learned, and it meant he'd talked to too many strangers.
He put a name to his feelings for her, and it made her uncomfortable.
He let her see his insecurity over Maddy, and she was offended that he had one.
Right now, the idea of saying another word nauseated him so much, he was worried he might need a garbage can. The worst part was, Brian had no idea how he could have avoided any of it.
"I'm--"
He looked around helplessly. God, he was starting to do that thing. That thing where his brain seized up and words wouldn't come. Before long, she'd ask him a question and all he'd be able to do is stare at her, slack-jawed.
"I'm going," he said. Where, he didn't know. Whether Valerie would call him the next day, he didn't know. What Brian knew was that he needed to get some space, some air, because there was only so much "you're messing up" he could handle in one night.
"I'll talk to you later, okay?"
He took a couple of steps backward. He wasn't hungry anymore, either.
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ninetydegrees
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on 2013-11-06 02:35 am (UTC)Brian considered himself a non-confrontational person; he usually avoided it like the plague, couldn't even stand being in the room while other people argued. But something about Valerie's accusations was cutting him really deep.
He shared things with her he couldn't tell his family or friends, and it wasn't fast enough.
He got excited to talk about what he learned, and it meant he'd talked to too many strangers.
He put a name to his feelings for her, and it made her uncomfortable.
He let her see his insecurity over Maddy, and she was offended that he had one.
Right now, the idea of saying another word nauseated him so much, he was worried he might need a garbage can. The worst part was, Brian had no idea how he could have avoided any of it.
"I'm--"
He looked around helplessly. God, he was starting to do that thing. That thing where his brain seized up and words wouldn't come. Before long, she'd ask him a question and all he'd be able to do is stare at her, slack-jawed.
"I'm going," he said. Where, he didn't know. Whether Valerie would call him the next day, he didn't know. What Brian knew was that he needed to get some space, some air, because there was only so much "you're messing up" he could handle in one night.
"I'll talk to you later, okay?"
He took a couple of steps backward. He wasn't hungry anymore, either.