Back in the Game?

[st_clare]

Julianna had sent her letter to Edmund special post so he could respond as soon as possible, and he'd actually called her right away when he'd gotten the information she'd asked for. She'd added the relevant details to her personal notes out of habit. Even if no one else could read her writing, she knew what she'd written.

The fact that she had Valerie's daily schedule meant she'd had the option of meeting her after one of her classes. She could have even arranged for the girl to speak to her in her office. But she hadn't wanted to make it seem like an order or a command. To arrange an accident might have made the Slayer suspect her motives. When she didn't even know what her motives might be, it was best to leave things to chance.

The Watcher was currently seated at a table by herself in the student union, half of her attention on the daily paper. Emotionally, she felt as shaky and coltish as she had the day she first went away to university. Hope intermingled with terror as she finished one page of the newspaper and started on another. She didn't know if she was prepared for this. What if the girl wasn't interested in what she had to say?

Then again, this was a chance to correct what she still saw as her error. To fix her mistakes. If Valerie didn't respond positively, she would have at least made the effort. That was all she could truly do.

Comments

[valerie_vause]

Valerie had spent the past three hours up close and personal with some raw material’s. Though her jeans still had dust particles that stuck in clumps her t-shirt was spotless. The same couldn’t be said for her cuticles, since plaster still coated them. Today she wore her hair tied back, nothing to do with fashion, it had just been practical to keep it out of the way as she worked. Class was an escapism. Now she wandered down the hall and into the student union with a few smiles and greetings. The strap of her bag slung over her left shoulder, it tapped gently against her hip as she walked. Notebooks were tucked under her arm while her right hand clutched a paper bag.

The place wasn’t overly crowded though there were more than enough people for it to be busy. Valerie didn’t really look around to find anyone because she had nobody waiting for her. Instead she headed straight to a vending machine to grab a can of soda, and narrowly avoided a guy who tripped over his undone laces. The tray he held with food flew into the air and crashed to the ground seconds before he did. Pasta went everywhere and a cheer chorused as people clapped at his misfortune. Valerie watched a rogue meatball roll on by before she set her things down on the floor to help him up.

“Thanks.” He mumbled with a wry grin, then turned to bow with good humour. Valerie shook her head with a smile, “You handled that well.” He chuckled, “Yeah, I’ll be here all week.” Then he turned and went about clearing up the mess he’d made. The blonde laughed a little, picked up her things, and finally got a can of soda. Now, where was she going to sit? Green eyes scanned the area, not registering faces so much as spotting vacant tables void of anyone else.

Several were scattered around. Valerie made her way over to the one furthest away since people tended to grab the closest seats to them.

[st_clare]

Julianna was in the middle of an article when the accident occurred, and she watched from the sidelines as the resulting mess began to be tended to. People returned to their business. Valerie was headed in her general direction. If she raised her hand in greeting, would the girl re-direct her steps and come to her table?

Not knowing what to do annoyed her. She was an educated professional, respected in her field. Uncertainty was not like her. The paper crinkled as the Englishwoman folded it shut and set it aside. Her lunch, a sandwich and bottle of water, were on a napkin in front of her.

"Ms. Vause." She spoke up a bit, her voice carrying as she lifted one ringless hand. "Hello again."

[valerie_vause]

The sound of her name made her pause, Valerie sought out the voice and returned the wave by lifting her paper bag into the air. “Hey there Ju-uh, Professor St Clare.” Valerie hesitated, foot raised to take a step, but in which direction? To avoid the woman would be rude, and really unnecessary. With no reason not too, the blonde made her way over and grabbed a seat across from the Watcher. Careful as she set her bag on the chair next to her. The notebooks were placed on the table along with her lunch.

The can of soda was plucked off the table once she’d gotten comfortable and opened with a faint hiss. Valerie took a sip then set it down in favour of her lunch. The bag crinkled as she pulled it open. “So what’s going on in the world today, anything interesting?” It was a casual question as she retrieved an apple and motioned towards the newspaper. Valerie sat it atop the can as she fished out a bag of chips and sandwich. Pale fingers folded the bag into a small square methodically and she placed it under her notebooks to keep it that way.

No sense in being spooked every time they bumped into each other. The law of averages stated they would considering they both spent a lot of their time at the college. Valerie unwrapped her sandwich and smoothed the cellophane out. It granted enough space for her to scatter a few chips down. The open bag was then offered towards Julianna, “Do you want some? They’re just salted, nothing fancy.”

[st_clare]

The knot of tension that had set up shop in the Watcher's stomach relaxed a fraction, and she took an easier breath in response to it. "Yes, please," she said with a nod, taking a few chips from the proferred bag. She'd nearly finished her sandwich anyway, which meant she could snack a bit now.

How to begin? She was terrible at small talk, despite years of attending faculty functions and various other seminars and conferences. If she mentioned that she'd inquired as to the date of Valerie's calling, would that imply this was an official matter? She didn't want the blonde to think she was being called on the carpet.

"I had hoped to run into you." Yes, perhaps a mild opener, an honest one. "I didn't quite dare summon you to see me, but there's a matter of some importance I wanted to speak to you about. Personal importance."

The young man who'd spilled his tray had finished tidying up after himself, and he passed the table Valerie and Julianna now shared. He gave the Slayer a shy wave as he moved on. The Watcher took a sip of water from her bottle to try and quell her nerves.

[valerie_vause]

The icebreaker had worked, sort of, the paper hadn’t been mentioned but at least the chips had been shared. Which resulted in a smile from Valerie who left the open bag between them on the table, a gesture to have more if desired. One half of her sandwich was lifted and she took a bite. Peanut butter and banana had been a favorite from childhood. It had become a comfort food of sorts, and she chewed contentedly.

Well, until Julianna spoke, and she swallowed it in a chunk that partially stuck in her throat. “Personal?” She coughed behind her hand, then used it to wave to the guy who’d taken a tumble. She didn’t know him but it was nice regardless.

Valerie moved the apple onto her notebook and lifted the soda to take a large gulp. It helped push the food down and she took a slow breath. What kind of personal importance? Valerie tried not to think. Kept her mind clear and breezy like an open window in spring as she took another bite of her sandwich and looked over to Julianna curiously. If she was about to be reprimanded about her life then she’d take it in her stride as best as she could. There wasn’t much else she could do. Getting upset wouldn’t solve anything.

“What’s going on, should I be worried?” Eyebrows raised as she asked and she licked a stray smear of peanut butter off her thumb. Valerie didn’t know what Julianna had to say. Until she did she wasn’t about to feel guilty, or rather, look it. Things were better handled calmly than emotionally. “Is there an apocalypse, because that would really ruin the rest of the day?” It was said with mild humour, yet held enough seriousness for it to be entirely possible.

[st_clare]

"No. No! Please, don't fret, it's nothing dreadful. I..."

Julianna managed a small chuckle to keep the mood light, ate some of the chips she'd plucked from the bag. She was not going to bollocks this up. She wanted to correct her perceived error. The past could never be fixed, per se, but if there could finally be a coming to terms, then it could only be positive, possibly for both herself and Valerie.

"As you know," she said, lowering her voice a notch, "the training period in London is not handled individually. Teams are assigned so as to avoid...complications. Emotional ones, I mean to say."

She had a sudden mental flash of Allison's hopeful young face, and her smile turned wistful with nostalgia. She'd framed the copy of the girl's final examination, the one Cyrus Claymore had given her. It hung in a place of honor in her new apartment. It was the last thing she'd packed when she left her London flat. As a reminder.

"Seven years ago, there was a Slayer named Allison Pritchard. I was part of the team assigned to train her, and the one whose methods she responded to. I...she...an inadvertent bond formed."

[valerie_vause]

Valerie offered a bewildered smile in return and finished off the first half of her sandwich. When the topic turned out to be about training the blonde internally relaxed. A nod was given to say she understood since her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth. Yes, she’d experienced the cool detachment during her stay in England. At first it had bothered her, being young she didn’t properly understand the distance. Then as she grew she began to realise why it existed, even if she didn’t quite believe it did anyone any good. To not get emotionally involved on some level almost made it seem like she was never really a real person, just a tool to be used against forces far stronger than they could handle.

Palms smoothed together to shed any crumbs before she picked up the can and took a liberal sip. What kind of inadvertent bond? Surely not a romantic one, no that was absurd, perhaps more in tune to a motherly figure than a friend? It was common among teachers and pupils to connect in such ways, role models formed naturally. Though Julianna sounded perplexed, Valerie watched it play over the woman as much as the sunlight.

“Is she in trouble, do you need me to find her? I can leave today.” It didn’t occur to her that the past tense hadn’t just been about when Julianna had met her. No, it hit her seconds later when she remembered what the woman had said moments before. Don’t fret. Which meant either Allison was in town for a visit and Julianna didn’t know how to approach her or… Allison was dead.

Valerie sat back in the chair, pale hands splayed against the table and she shut her eyes. “I’m sorry.” She said quietly, then looked across to Julianna. “Did she…” Lips pressed together and she took in a slow breath, shook her head. “Was it recently?” That poor girl, another one gone. It seemed so needless though she knew it wasn’t. Did she think that because it’s what she felt, or what she was told? “Is there anything I can do?”

[st_clare]

"There's nothing anyone can do for her except remember her. I went to the funeral, another breach of protocol. I'd already broken the rules once by befriending her. It seemed rather pointless not to try and say goodbye."

Julianna took a drink of water. The knot in her stomach had tightened again. That was better than a lump in her throat, though. She pushed out a breath.

"I'd been in the field for a long time, but I'd never assisted in training an active Slayer. I'd never felt more honored. To be chosen in that way, it meant everything to me."

She paused, looked at Valerie's youthful face. "The aftermath was terrible. Every Watcher knows that casualties happen, that girls die in combat, but I took it exceptionally hard. It's why I still grieve." Another pause.

"When Allison died, another girl was immediately called. That's the way the powers are bestowed. I was taken off the roster for training because of my emotional state, which means I never found out who she was. But I've been doing some reflecting on that time, and it made me inquire."

Julianna lifted her hand as if to call a halt to any protest. "It's nothing to be concerned about. I asked a trusted friend, someone I've known for a long time. It seems, Ms. Vause, as if you're the one who took Allison's place."

[valerie_vause]

It was a little odd, though not unpleasant, being filled in on some personal details of Julianna’s life as a Watcher. Valerie wasn’t entirely sure what to say, so she listened instead and sipped at her drink. The rest of her lunch could wait, for it felt disrespectful to continue eating when discussing a girls death. Though, it did make her wonder what this had to do with her. The personal aspect she had assumed had been about herself.

The question was on the tip of her tongue but before she could part her lips Julianna held her hand up. Valerie chewed the inside of her lip, then blinked, startled at the woman’s next words. “I replaced her?” She had to be sure that’s what she’d been told. “I…”

Wow. Okay. The cogs in her head worked double time as she tried to comprehend that. She’d always wondered who had perished for her to be called, yet never in a million years would have expected to know her name. Let alone be sitting at a table with somebody who had known her. Valerie didn’t know how to feel in that moment. Sad, certainly, for Allison who no longer belonged to the living. Conflicted a little due to the undeniable resemblance to a twisted game of supernatural whack-a-mole that was the chosen ones. When the time came, if her life didn’t flash before her eyes, would that be her last thought? Who will instantly replace me? Would she blame her for dying and turning her life upside down?

“I don’t want to hit you with an avalanche of questions but…” Valerie looked over to Julianna, tilted her head and offered a slight, albeit cringed, smile. “What was she like? How did she… Do they know what happened? What age did she reach?” To others it could appear morbidly curious but for the blonde it held nothing morbid about it. So it wasn’t an ordinary everyday normal family tree but it was one, of sorts. Descendants of a calling, supernatural lineage that awoke with death. “I wonder sometimes why we need to die to pass the torch on, why couldn’t it be like a baton race, when you reach a certain age you hand it to the next girl.”

[st_clare]

"She was..."

It had been so long since she'd deliberately remembered that for a moment Julianna was unable to summon the necessary words. Her recollections when they came were bittersweet. "She was like you, actually, or at least what I know of you. She was exceptionally bright and her studies were important to her. I started to lend her books from my personal library because I believed she could grasp the material and the ideas behind it."

She was no longer hungry for the rest of her sandwich, so she wrapped it up in the napkin and pushed it aside. "She'd never been chosen first for athletics in her life until her calling. It took weeks to convince her that I couldn't truly hurt her in our sparring sessions and not to flinch away. I had to curb my impatience countless times. Once she understood that her powers gave her grace, it grew easier."

Around them, students came and went. Someone sat down at the out of tune piano and plinked at the keys. The Watcher looked to see if it was Brian, but it wasn't. Her elbows came to rest on the tabletop, allowing her unadorned hands to prop her chin on them. "She had just turned fifteen when she found out she was a Slayer, just out of girlhood. The first day I met her, her face was all eyes. Green eyes, like a cat. She was certainly as skittish as any feline I ever knew, at least at first."

Julianna's expression darkened a bit, and she met Valerie's gaze without self-pity. "She was afraid. Of London, of the training program, of me. Especially of me. Some loose-lipped bugger told her I was an old dragon of a woman and that if she didn't live up to expectations she'd regret it. Seven years later, and I've never found out who it was."

She laughed shortly when she said it, then shook her head. "I am not a warm person, Ms. Vause, at least not in the field. But something in Allison touched me, and so I reached out to her. She was a child, like so many other children who have come and gone during my career. When she died, she was only eighteen. Her death destroyed my confidence that I could do the job. I didn't even want to come here, not at first. I'd like...I'd like to have resolve again."

[valerie_vause]

Similarities aside, of which there were a few, they held remarkable differences. Valerie had always liked sports, took to training like a duck to water and perhaps most of all had survived past eighteen. Allison had only been chosen for three years before she was wiped from the earth. How could that be right? How could anyone properly justify a girl losing her life so young, regardless of the cause? To say that it was just the way things were felt wrong. Whatever life a Watcher had as member of the council, at least they had one. Far longer than any of the girls trained and set loose.

On some level, despite the sadness that clouded her thoughts, Valerie liked that they had common ground. Books, learning, thinking… If she could have met Allison, perhaps they would have gotten along. Then again, she’d be seven and that would be awkward but if the timeline hadn’t fallen the way it did, if the girl had survived, if Valerie had been called by another's demise… In another life, they could have been friends.

“None of the Watchers I met were warm.” Valerie shrugged lightly. They were the cogs that kept the machine running. People who owned pet stores didn’t get attached to the animals they kept caged, it was bad for business. However it was the word resolve that had Valerie glance up at Julianna somewhat curiously. Whether she was right or not, Valerie felt like that had something to do with her, otherwise why would the woman share any of this information freely? It certainly humanised her, a glimpse into the pain that touched her life, left it’s mark on her the way relationships often did.

Empathy wasn’t something that could be taught. You either felt it or you didn’t. Right then witnessing the emotions play over Julianna, you’d have to be heartless not to feel anything. Valerie might not spend a large amount of time with people so much as being around them but she knew how to comfort. One hand reached out to lightly clasp around the Watcher’s and she gave a gentle reassuring squeeze before taking her hand back.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Valerie said softly, then pushed a few chips around on the cellophane awkwardly for a second while she gathered her thoughts. “I appreciate you telling me this, I can see it isn’t easy. I will say that it’s nice to know that even though distance is usually kept, that there are those who actually mourn for us when we’re gone.” Valerie studied Julianna’s face as she spoke, eyebrows drawn together slightly as she added, “I’m not sure what I can do and please correct me if I’m wrong but… It feels like you want…” Shoulders lifted then as the blonde struggled to place the exact feeling. “I’m not sure, but something, to do with me?”

[st_clare]

The hand on hers offered the comfort that was intended, no matter how fleeting, and Julianna offered Valerie a faint smile. She toyed with her water bottle while she looked for her next words. This would be the most difficult part.

"I should have been your Watcher, or at least part of the team that provided your training," she began. "At the time, I knew that it was best to take a step back and allow others to do the work, but I still felt the loss of the opportunity. This isn't just a career for me, it's a calling all its own. I followed in my mother's footsteps, just as she followed her mother in hers. The day I accepted my first assignment as a Watcher was the only time I ever saw Mother weep."

The Englishwoman fell silent, rested her chin in one hand. She'd never put much stock in the things she'd been supposed to want; a husband, babies, growing old and fat with grandchildren gathered around her. Despite Mother's grooming for her to eventually marry, she'd developed an independent streak, and she'd soaked up the chances for education and travel as if she'd die if she didn't. But even with Allison seven years buried, that one event haunted her as if it had happened yesterday. If she was ever to overcome it, she'd have to force herself out there again.

"Perhaps we can assist each other," she said. "I know that you're long done with your training, and I would never presume to correct another Watcher's methods after the fact. But there are ways that my abilities could be of use to you. Providing advice about difficult opponents. Book knowledge. Even the occasional bit of magical protection. If you'd be willing, that is."

Her water bottle was nearly empty. She drank some more of the contents, put the cap back on. "I should tell you, I'm relieved that you're Allison's replacement. There was another candidate, and while I'm sure she's quite adept, our personalities don't mesh. One dragon at the time is quite enough."

[valerie_vause]

As far as interesting statements went, Julianna’s had certainly caught her attention. Valerie’s gaze became a little more intent as she played it over in her mind. Would she be different had the woman been part of her training? Learned something new, undoubtedly. In all the time she’d spent around other Watcher’s, she’d never once seen one so openly vulnerable. So human. As Julianna was right then. Perhaps it was the frank honesty that caused the slight smile to form on the blonde’s lips. A sense of respect growing due to the elder’s straight-to-the-point attitude that she herself often used. Refreshing, really.

“I had no idea that the Watcher’s had a legacy but it actually makes more sense.” Green eyes blinked thoughtfully at Julianna before Valerie added, “I guess you were born into destiny. Fate’s, well, she’s kinda funky like that.” Either that or she was twisted. Cosmic cruelty at it’s strangest.

Valerie plucked a few chips up to crunch on as she listened. Elbows lifted to rest on the table as the blonde leaned in, voice low. “My training might be over but I see no reason why we can’t. I mean I like to stay sharp with, well, skills and knowledge is by far one of the most important. Without it being a-” Valerie’s tongue refused to form the word. “A uhm, chosen one wouldn’t do much except overall physical damage but there are tricky things out there that only cease to be when you use something specific.”

She shook her head with a bit of a cringe and chuckled. “You know what I mean. I’d be happy to work with you. Oh, speaking of books did you…” Valerie trailed off, looked around subtly to make sure people weren’t paying them any attention, then continued. “Were you able to find anything on The Old One’s?” Hunger could only be kept at bay so long, so it was with an apologetic smile that Valerie picked up the other half of her sandwich and took a bite. Though she chewed and swallowed before daring to speak, she might spend the majority of her life fighting like a beast but she was raised with manners.

“Thank you.” The blonde said, because it felt like there was a compliment in there somewhere, that they meshed personality wise perhaps. Before taking another bite, Valerie tilted her head to the side and looked out the window. “There’s actually something that’s been bothering me. Well not bothering, I’m not being tormented or anything but a couple of weeks ago…”

Valerie sat up straight, crossed her ankles under the table and cleared her throat. When she spoke her eyes were on the bag of chips, neutral territory. “Okay one night on my way home from scouting out a new area I decided to take a shortcut through a park. Clear night, no vampire action, and I met this… This girl. She looked my age, but had an accent like yours, English. Brunette, very friendly, said I could call her Beth, so we…” Valerie frowned at the chips, embarrassment uncoiling within her stomach to spread out, colour her words. “We talked for a bit, then we walked together and she, we… Held hands and it felt… It felt so natural, like we’d known each other our entire life but there was lightening and she started asking questions and I realised she wasn’t a girl at all.”

Fingers captured a stray chip to occupy herself with as she cleared her throat. “Beth wasn’t her name, she wouldn’t give it, said if I wanted to talk to her that I should pray and think of her. I don’t know, at first I thought a demon, but now I don’t think she was. Deathly pale, quite…” Valerie huffed out a breath and accidently crushed the chip. “Not to sound weird but she was, well, beautiful, in the most haunting way. Dressed in a gown of pitch black. Talked in circles though, mind games. I think I upset her when I asked her to get to the point because she had things… Invisible things, hold me in place. She did this thing, where she touched the air and I…”

Valerie chewed the inside of her lip then blurted, “I felt it, like she’d ran her finger down my skin felt it. She knew what I was and offered to show me how to connect with my, with the demon essence but I didn’t accept and have no clue who or what she is.”

[st_clare]

The tension went out of Julianna's shoulders, which slumped with a relief that was almost palpable. Good, the first hurdle had been leapt, the girl was amenable to working together. The concept of resolve was still distant, but every journey had to have a starting point.

"I was able to blow some of the cobwebs away and find what you inquired about," she told Valerie, acknowledging the blonde's apologetic smile with an incline of her head. "As I told you before, the Old Ones were pureblood demons. They once occupied this dimension, long before man walked the earth, and they warred among themselves constantly. The Council archives don't contain their whole history, but eventually they were exiled to an unknown location called the Deeper Well. They slumber there, existing in limbo where they can't cause any more damage. There's a guardian standing vigil and mystical wards in place to keep them from waking up and escaping."

Flexing her mental muscles was a different kind of relief, and the Watcher smiled a bit at the end of her recitation. Some of her appetite returned now that the most taxing thing had been agreed upon, and so she unwrapped her pastrami sandwich and took a careful bite after offering a sheepish smile of her own. She chewed carefully while Valerie talked, a frown causing her eyebrows to slowly draw together.

"I know that there are...entities...who try to tap into the essence of the Slayer," she said once she washed the bite down with some water. "When you intermingle demon powers with a human body, it can attract the attention of powerful forces. If this being spoke to you, behaved in a familiar manner, there's a strong likelihood that she was an agent of someone or something else. Not an underling, per se. Catalyst might be a better word for it."

She reached for her messenger bag, which she'd slung over the unoccupied chair, pulled out a small notepad and a ballpoint pen. There was the scratch of the pen on paper as she wrote, making her usual shorthand as she jotted down important details. She would have to consult her books when she got home tonight. There was something involved here, something more intricate than a simple visitation.

"You seem intact physically, but there are other ways to be hurt. Psychic injury can be just as debilitating as being struck with a fist or a weapon. If the body needs healing, you can go to hospital. If the mind gets damaged by a demonic entity, it requires a shaman or some other mystic to repair the injury."

The pastrami had gotten cold while they talked, but even room temperature food could be filling. Julianna emptied the first bottle of water, pulled a second one from her bag. "If you have other concerns, I wouldn't mind hearing about them as they arise. I know this isn't the traditional arrangement, but I'd like to be truly useful again. If I'm to rebuild my confidence, starting with you is a good point of origin."

It felt good - liberating - to be so open. There would never be another Allison, but that didn't mean she couldn't re-discover her purpose. Julianna wiped the corner of her mouth.

"Also? I'd like it if you'd call me Julianna. May I call you Valerie?"

[valerie_vause]

Valerie cocked her head to the side then grabbed over her own notebook. “The Deeper Well.” She mused quietly while her fingers located a pen to write it down on the back page out of sight. Could that be where Sabra came from, or belonged? The chances of ever getting the real Sabra returned to her body were so low that it would be like trying to explore all of space. Not in the blonde’s lifetime, not ever. That didn’t explain who did it in the first place. Until she had answers herself she wasn’t going to mention her. That would be self destructive, and would certainly tarnish the trust that had been steadily forming between herself and the demoness. There was no way to tell right now what the Council would do with her, either way, she wasn’t about to hand her over.

“That’s great.” She said, and truly meant it. “I’d never even heard of the Deeper Well before. It was just strange to hear the name Maloker outside of, well, training.” Valerie made a face, more at herself than anything else and ate the rest of her sandwich as Julianna talked. A quick sip of soda cleared her palate and she scratched the side of her jaw a bit sheepishly. An agent sounded about right. Certainly had the presence for it, whoever Beth really was she was damn clever. Why did that make the blonde grin so very slightly? She shook her head to focus and returned her attention to Julianna.

“I don’t think she attacked me psychically but when she revealed her true form, when she spoke, it drifted in and out of my mind as if she were speaking directly from within my skull. What I don’t understand is why approach me in a human disguise? She knew my full name, what I was, so why the dance? Oh wait, mind games.”

Valerie picked up a few chips and crunched them quietly. Fingers tapped the pen against her notebook lightly as she considered what to say. It had to be worded right or she’d sound deranged. “The essence reacted to her.” The blonde paused, looked towards the elder, then up at the ceiling with a sigh. “I could feel it inside me, calling for her. Reaching like a child for it’s mother. Or maybe a kindred spirit. It wanted.”

Though what it wanted she still wasn’t sure. To be closer, to be engulfed, to be free? Valerie had spent countless hours trying not to think about it only to wind up doing exactly that. “Oh, she gave me a smooth, impossibly black stone, I think it’s a way to pray to her. Which I haven’t, because I’d rather know who I’m dealing with than get wrapped up in forces beyond my comprehension. Call it survival instinct.” She laughed, the sound breezy and light as if they were discussing movies and not ambiguous dangers.

The rest of the chips were soon crunched away, finished off with a sip of soda, as she considered eating the apple. Given how strange the circumstances were it was nice that things were going rather well. Valerie didn’t want conflict, if they could work together like this then she had no problem with talking to the woman. Though she did grin slightly as she nodded, “Sure that works for me, Julianna.” Less formal, absolutely, but it took the edge off the chain of command so that it wasn’t so glaringly in her face.

“That goes both ways, if you hear something I’d like to be kept in the loop if that’s alright?I mean a heads up never hurts, right? If a big bad shows up I’d rather be prepared to run into it than oblivious to its existence.”

Which seemed fair, although would this be solely a swapping of work related information or would other things make it into the equation? Valerie would just have to wait and see.

[st_clare]

"Of course. It's important to stay informed, since that might affect your patrol route or fighting technique. Las Vegas might not be a metropolis along the lines of New York, but there are plenty of shadows for dangers to hide."

If she asked to see the stone this 'Beth' had given Valerie, would the Slayer allow her to do so? The seed of trust was freshly planted, but it had yet to be cultivated. Whether it would grow roses or crabgrass was yet to be determined. How much care should she proceed with?

"I'd like to see it. The stone," she said after an internal debate. If she was to form any kind of connection with the blonde, she must be forthright. "For research purposes. Perhaps there's a particular use for it other than contacting this entity, and that might help discover who she is. Or at least what she represents."

She was feeling more competent already, and whether that was because she'd been honest about her past or because she was hoping to forge something new was up for discussion. "I'm looking forward to this, Valerie," she said frankly. If they were going to be informal, she could become accustomed to that. "Everyone brings something different to the table when it comes to these things. I've been with the Council for so long that I have lots of experience to share. It'll be good to spread my wings again."

This had been a very emotional conversation for her, but she'd gradually become comfortable with it, and with what it represented in the larger. The first and only time she'd formed a bond with a pupil, she'd done it by accident. This was going to be deliberate, at least if it worked.

"Did I give you my number when we last spoke?" she asked. "I was so uncertain over the check-in that I was more concerned about crossing the t's and dotting the i's. If you'd like, I can give it to you now in case you need it for later."

[valerie_vause]

Valerie smiled, the Watcher was being honest with her feelings which persuaded her to do the same. Granted she might not grasp exactly what it meant right then but she looked forward to having someone to talk to about such things. Plus the books Julianna had would no doubt be useful, the blonde could see the bright side already. “It’ll be nice to be able to discuss such things with someone other than myself.” Not that she spent a lot of time talking to herself, but there were occasions when she did to try and solve problems or answers to questions her mind kept repeating. Regardless she assumed Julianna would understand, why reach out otherwise?

Lips pressed together as she glanced at the woman. Tried to predict a reaction before she reached into her back pocket and curled her fingers around the small, dark pebble of a stone. In moments of deep thought she’d taken to rubbing her thumb against it. The motion soothing in its own right. If trust were to be earned it had be shown in kind, Valerie reasoned with herself, then scooped the stone out of her pocket to place it on the table between them. “So far it hasn’t done anything.” She shrugged lightly. “But since it could potentially do anything or nothing I didn’t want to leave it laying around for any kind of surprises. So where I go it’s gone, seemed safer that way.”

Though she paused, teeth capturing her lower lip for a split second before she added, “All I ask is that I get it back when you’re done.” Valerie could have listed reasons why, all of them valid, but the truth was she knew, unequivocally, that she’d see Beth again. It would be on her terms once she knew her true identity. She wasn’t entirely convinced that it bothered her. Perhaps in a sense, more bothered that she wasn’t.

“Oh, no, I mean yes you did give me your number, no I won’t need it again because I wrote it down in case random catastrophe struck.” Valerie cringed and brought one hand up to press against her forehead. That must have sounded horrible. Yes I kept it to warn of impending doom, make sure to call your loved ones before we’re all in pieces.

[st_clare]

The sudden humor on Julianna's face caused her features to soften into a more approachable expression, and the corners of her mouth lifted as she smiled. "I know how random catastrophes can ruin a perfectly good day. You can be having a marvelous time on an outing, and the next thing you know, the world's ending."

She regarded the stone where it sat on the table between herself and Valerie. It looked unremarkable. Certainly not as ominous as something that had been handed off by a questionable entity. The Watcher picked it up, held it in the palm of her left hand. The obsidian surface was so smooth that it seemed as if it had been polished. The weight was negligible. If it had emanations coming from it, she wasn't aware of it.

"I'll return it as soon as I can," she assured the Slayer, putting the stone into the pocket of her slacks. It mingled with the spare change and the cafeteria receipt from when she'd purchased her lunch. Her sandwich was nearly finished, just the end of the bread still resting on the napkin. "And I'll let you know what I learn, if I learn anything at all."

The older woman put away her notepad, rubbed the back of her neck. "Is there anything you wanted to ask me right now? Any concerns to discuss?"

[valerie_vause]

“Funny how it never happens when you feel like it should, only when things are going well, then boom, imminent danger. Kind of like when you want the ground to open up and swallow you.” Valerie mused aloud, clearly at ease with bantering back and forth, even if it was silly hypothetical situations.

She watched the elder take the stone. One brief nod given to say she was fine with that since it would be returned. There was no supernatural pull from it, or at least, none that she herself felt. Yet, there was a fleeting sense of loss now that she no longer had it in her possession. Perhaps due to carrying it around ever since, or perhaps something a little darker, even if she didn’t know it and had no way to explain it. As if some inner part of her, the essence within her veins, considered it her property. A gift from one thing to another, a keepsake of remembrance, a reminder that she wasn’t entirely human. It could be any number of those things, Valerie didn’t dissect it, just experienced the short sensation.

“I think I covered the biggest.” Valerie said with a slight grin then sipped at her soda. “I can’t really think of anything else right now, but if you have concerns or questions for me then feel free to say so.” Would there be any? Had Julianna put things together in her mind and came to a conclusion or was she oblivious? Valerie couldn’t be sure, but given what she now knew, Julianna had probably pieced it together. It seemed unlikely that the elder was in the dark but Valerie wasn’t about to bring anything else up. The dark red apple that had been tempting her found itself wrapped in her fingers and brought to her mouth. The first bite was crisp and she chewed it quietly.

[st_clare]

The seconds ticked by on the slender gold watch Julianna wore as she pondered Valerie's words. There was something, but it was difficult to articulate. While being open was something she could get used to, it was an acquired skill, not a natural one.

"I want you to understand, I'm not planning to try and make you fit into the mold that was cast to make Allison who she was. You're not just a Slayer, you're an individual being, your own person. If I'm to truly rebuild, I have to start fresh. Perhaps I'll never be able to forget the past, but I'm not intending to re-create it, either."

Her smile tightened when she finished speaking, but the honesty made her breathe more easily. "I can't guarantee that I'll always be easy to get along with," she cautioned the blonde. "I'm stubborn and difficult and set in my ways. I can be arrogant. But I also want this to work. Sometimes you have to take a risk or nothing happens."

She had unconsciously begun to remove the label from her water bottle while she talked, and she crumpled it in a loose fist. "I should let you go," she said, beginning to gather her things. "It's just past the middle of the day and I'm sure you have a class to attend or a lecture to get to. As for me, there's a stack of papers on my desk that I should deal with. With the Thanksgiving holiday approaching, school won't be in session in a couple of weeks. I'd like to have the scutwork cleared away so I can enjoy the time off."

She'd have to find a hidden spot in her office to put the stone, somewhere the cleaning people wouldn't find it. Valerie might carry it everywhere with her, but as a Watcher Julianna was more cautious. Psychic energy could be powerful, and until she was certain of what properties 'Beth's' token possessed, she was wary of bringing it into her home. With the notes she'd made, she could consult her books that night, then study the stone.

"I wish you a pleasant afternoon, Ms...Valerie," the older woman said as she slowly pushed her chair back to get to her feet. A sheepish smile. Damned formality.

[valerie_vause]

One bite became three as Valerie watched the elder woman work out if she had something to say. Silence lingered save the noise of a crisp bite now and then. When Julianna spoke green eyes took in the sight of someone trained to be stoic so very blatantly uncomfortable. From tight smile to shredded label that scattered around the bottle like sad confetti. It was strange and equally intriguing. Temporarily it appeared the roles were reversed. The blonde tilted her head then took a sip of soda.

“I’m glad you said that, I don’t fit very well into molds other than my own. Especially when forced.” Lips quirked slightly as one shoulder raised. “I don’t think we’re meant to forget our past. It’s what makes us who we are, without it all, we’d be someone entirely different.”

Valerie paused for a second, nodded as if an internal debate had been decided, then took in a slow breath. “In the spirit of being honest.” She held Julianna’s gaze and continued softly, “I can be stubborn and set in my ways too which means you might find me difficult at times in return. I’m not going to go out of my way to push your buttons, that’s not who I am. I do want this to work but I need to know that when we talk openly, when we disagree, that it stays between us. I work better without constant worry that what I’ve said isn’t getting me shipped off to… Well, the mother land of Watchers for correcting.”

Julianna was right, sometimes you had to take a risk. Lately it seemed like she’d been doing a lot of that and it unsettled her, but right then it had been necessary to be very frank with the woman. Valerie did want it to work, but only if the Council played no part in it. The last thing she wanted to do was confide something, or state something that wound up getting her in some sort of trouble. Granted she didn’t run around at night attempting to break laws but occasionally she had to break down a door or get creative with property that happened to be at hand.

“I wouldn’t want to keep you from that.” The blonde gently teased, clearly regarding the prospect of grading papers as much fun as having to write them. Valerie stopped the laughter but not the amusement as the Watcher caught herself doing the very thing she’d suggest they stop. “I enjoyed our talk, Julianna, I hope you have a good rest of the day.”