No Light

[valerie_vause]

Coins clinked as they were slid into the payphone by the side of the road. The phone cradled tightly against an ear as the ring echoed down the line. She wiped her eyes with the back of a hand. A frayed picture clutched in it, the corners faded and worn away from use. A single digit traced the woman’s face as the call got answered.

A cheerful, gruff voice responded. “Hello?”

“... Dad?” She sniffled. Cautious, tentative.

“Valerie?” The tone was shocked. A moment of stunned silence.

“Yeah, I really… I wanted to hear your voi-”

“What are you doing?” He cut her off, no more cheer carried down the line.

“I wanted to talk. We haven’t spoken sin-”

“And whose fault was that? Your own mother!” It was a bark of anger.

She recoiled, hot tears scalded her cheeks, voice meek as she whispered, “Daddy please… it’s the Holiday season and I, I really need y-”

“She’d still be here if it wasn’t for you. You’re own family! Now all I have is ashes.” The accusation pure venom.

“She…” The words stuck in her throat as she stared at the photograph. “She wasn’t mom anymore, you know that.”

“You did that to her! You couldn’t protect her, it’s your fault she’s gone.”

“Daddy please…” She choked on a sob. “Don’t say that, I tried! You know I tr-”

“It should have been you. That’s who they came for.” The cold tone was firm, resolute.

“I’m sorry! I miss her so much, everyday, and I miss-” The line went dead. “You.”

The call had been five hours ago after she’d left Brian’s apartment and it had gotten dark. Valerie had been walking for miles, she didn’t actually know where she was; hadn’t paid attention. It had seemed irrelevant. Twice she’d encountered vampires. One by itself that had practically landed on her before she turned it to dust. Then three later on. The fight had lasted a while, it gave her a reprieve of emotions, let her be hollow where the only pain she felt was physical. Now, she trudged through a run down area, derelict buildings loomed menacingly on either side, looking for more. The toe of her shoe hit an empty bottle and she reached over, picked it up. As if in a trance she clutched the neck and smashed it against the wall. Watched the way it split skin as she dragged it up her left arm. In the dark, blood looked like ink. If anything was near, they’d smell it, they’d come out to play.

“Come get me.” She whispered, leaving behind the smallest trail of drips as she walked. “I’m ready.”

[Thread Open To Anyone]

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[valerie_vause]

Valerie listened to Julianna the way a church goer listened to a Priest, searching for something only it felt out of reach. No solutions, no definite, just countless possibilities that may or may not exist. She fell silent again, head bowed as if she could peek inside the earth's core as if hell would open up to give her a glimpse. Then upward to the sky, in search of heaven amongst the stars. She knew hell dimensions were real, so one without the other would be cruel. Life in general was cruel. In ways, it was just downright messy.

“I don’t know what I believe anymore.”

The words came out sounding lost though the blonde failed to register the tone. Simply stated it like it was nothing. It felt like nothing. She felt like nothing. Then she breathed in, shut her eyes. Julianna’s voice was… Calming. Soft. It didn’t quite penetrate the heavy feeling, it didn’t quite lessen it either but it gave her something to focus on. To listen to other than her own thoughts and it lulled her almost the way a snake charmer managed to quell serpents.

The next comment was a bit desultory as Valerie sighed, “Don’t be afraid. Nothing is out here, you have a car.”

The blonde watched as Julianna inspected the wound, held perfectly still so that she didn’t drip on her or the car, as if those two things were the most important things at that precise moment. “There was a bottle.” She said, then turned to look back as if searching for it. “I don’t know whose. Useful though. Sharp.” Germs apparently hadn’t crossed her mind, let alone how long it had probably been there, drained of whatever liquid had once filled it. If Julianna hadn’t been so gracious as to tend to the cut then she would have surely ended up with an infection. Quite possibly a serious one, despite her fast healing.

[st_clare]

Glass, then.Julianna just shook her head in silence. "Sharper edges are best for cutting," she said with irony in her voice. "It leaves a cleaner cut, which makes it easier to bandage."

She wiped the excess blood away with a soft cloth, then used the antiseptic as carefully as she could. The bleeding had slowed, the clotting process having started. Julianna recapped the bottle, set it aside on the roof of the car.

Large gauze pads and a wrap were produced, and the older woman placed one of the pads over the wound, applying gentle pressure. She felt the tension subside a bit when it didn't immediately soak through. Thank God for Slayer healing.

When the gauze was in place, she began to wrap it so it would remain in place while the wound closed. To keep out dirt. Every now and then, she would glance away from what her hands were doing to look at Valerie's face.

"Would you like to talk about it? Whatever it is that's happened?" Julianna was looking away again, focusing on taping things in place. Her tone indicated patience. It was only partially forced.

"It's not...her, is it? The one we spoke of?"

[valerie_vause]

The cleaning process did sting, and when it began to get wrapped up, it burned. Sensations that, in truth, mitigated some of the things she felt to more manageable levels and she let out a shaky breath. “Thank you.” Valerie whispered, head once again bowed as she watched everything Julianna did. Sometimes she missed something, her mind would wander, but she’d blink and it would all come into focus again.

“I buried her gift under a tree in a park. I’d have prefered if it was her, this is all on me.” Teeth worried the inside of her lip and she looked away, her posture seemed to worsen, as if she’d deflated further and was gradually sinking to the ground millimeter by millimeter. “Have you ever felt something so strongly in a moment that you believed was so true then later when you try to tell someone else you realise you might be wrong, but by then it’s too late? I’m not very good at navigating emotions.”

Her free hand raised to rub at her eye, irritating it more than anything else as she gazed into the shadows with a slight hitch of breath. “I’m very skilled at hurting the people I care for without intending too.”

Then she fell silent again, her mind drifted between what happened a few hours ago, and what happened a few years ago. Each painful, but one utterly catastrophic. “I told him I thought I might want to see a girl too, but when I said it I didn’t feel it the way I had earlier, so I suggested something foolish that I thought was what all men liked. I was way off with that so he thinks I’m a contradiction, and we had words because he suggested we slow down, be friends, I took it that he was breaking up with me and got defensive, I said I couldn’t just be around him as a friend, he got defensive, more word bombs were exchanged, and he broke it off. I can respect that.”

The blonde swallowed thickly, frowned down at her feet, and felt the tell tale sting of salt water as it began to blur her vision. “Then I tried calling my dad because… And he still after two years… He still hates me for what happened but I tried so hard and failed and it’s… It’s my duty to slay. She wasn’t…” She fought the ache, the build up, but couldn’t stop the lump in her throat. “She wasn’t her anymore…”