A Soft Place to Fall?

[st_clare]

She was afraid to go home.

After she threw up, Julianna slipped into a semi-fugue state while the revulsion subsided to a manageable level. It was almost like dozing off, but not quite. Her thoughts wandered far afield while she tried to regain her equilibrium. When she felt that her knees would be able to support her, she got to her feet and left the bathroom. She didn't know how she was going to explain to the people who handled the budget that she needed a new desk.

Her car was the only one left in the faculty lot when she finally made it outside. She dropped her keys twice while trying to unlock the door. When she looked at her watch, it was nearly ten o clock.

She couldn't go home. Not yet.

When she got behind the wheel, the Watcher directed the BMW towards the street, then decided to hit the all-night coffee shop near her complex. The roads were quiet at that hour, and she went on autopilot, deliberately trying not to think. She could still smell that invisible stench.

There was a payphone on the sidewalk in front of the cafe, and Julianna dug some change out of her wallet to drop coins into the slot. She spoke haltingly to the person on the other end of the line, then gave her location. The receiver made a quiet clunking sound when she put it back into place.

The interior of the shop was brightly lit, and the Englishwoman ordered a cup of hot tea at the counter before taking a table situated in a far corner. The tea smelled fragrant, but she didn't really want it.

Comments

[st_clare]

"The authorities wouldn't be able to help. Not with this. There are sources I can turn to, but the police aren't equipped to deal with this."

She would have to call London once she got the nerve to go back to her apartment. The protection charm she'd had blessed for Valerie might not be enough to ward the Corruptress off, not if her invisible entourage really accompanied her everywhere. Julianna tightened her grip on Nathan's hands, tried not to show the depth of her panic that this wasn't proceeding according to plan.

"She's very dangerous," the Englishwoman said, lowering her voice until it was barely above a whisper. "She might even be psychotic, although an actual diagnosis might be difficult to make. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you."

And that was the crux of it, or at least the tip of the emotional iceberg. If this had happened before her experience with Allison, she'd have dealt with it and then moved on. But she was quailing not just because of the threat to herself but also because of the possibility that what was perceived as her interference could cause an innocent bystander to be hurt.

"Please, Nathan. Please. I'm trying to protect you."

[birthright_npc]

"And you shouldn't be making decisions for me," Nathan pointed out with an affecionate smile. "I'm a grown man and as such I should be given the right to decide what I think I can or can't handle." He squeezed her hand. "I appreciate that you're doing what you think is the right thing to protect me, but who is thinking of your best interests?"

He lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "I think you've been through a terrible scare and you shouldn't be making any decisions right now because they are rash, fuelled by panic and you will end up regretting them." He might be younger and had considerably less worldly experience but he was still wise in a lot of ways.

"I'll be fine," he reassured.

[st_clare]

His stubbornness made her want to shake him, but now that she'd made the connection in her head she couldn't deny the sense of it. She might be trying to protect him physically, but she was also trying to protect herself emotionally. If this was part of trying to control things, perhaps she really should step back and take a breath.

Julianna let go of Nathan's hands and closed the distance between their chairs to put her arms around his shoulders. It was never easy for her to ask for support, and thus far they hadn't had the sort of relationship that made it easy for her now. Being companionable in the afterglow wasn't the same thing as asking him to tend to her emotional needs. But in the moment of Now, what she needed was comfort to make the icy knot of terror start to melt.

"You're right." Her voice was muffled because she had her face pressed against the side of his neck. The girl behind the counter was looking at them, probably thinking that Nathan was being very patient with his worried mother. Julianna didn't care what she thought.

"There are things I can do to make you safer, but I can't make up your mind for you. I am afraid. Terrified. But I don't want you to go away."

[birthright_npc]

Nathan encirled Julianna with his arms when she came closer, grip strong and unwavering. He even went so far as to run his hand through her hair, pausing to cup the back of her neck where he squeezed softly and reassuringly.

"I have my moments," Nathan offered with a a slow smile as Julianna admitted he was right. "Few and far between I know, but when I have them I really have them."

He listened to her words and tightened his embrace. "Whatever you need to do, do it. I'm not going anywhere."

[st_clare]

The tightening of Nathan's arms made Julianna lock her hands together more securely, and the ball of ice in her guts experienced a slight thaw. That made some more of her rationality come back. He really was right, now was not the time to be trying to make choices. Certainly it wasn't the time to try and impose her will on someone else. Her capitulation would have annoyed her more if she'd really had her mind made up about pushing him away.

He felt warm and solid. The fear was still there, but it was gradually becoming manageable. There were things she could do to make the situation easier to handle. Elfleda was dangerous, yes, but her powers couldn't be limitless.

"Thank you." Being grateful was difficult for her. Being humble was even more difficult. But right now, Julianna was both. That Nathan had let her rattle on without rattling herself to pieces gave him a depth even she hadn't realized he possessed. The Watcher hugged him tighter. She must have trusted him at least a little, since he'd been the one she'd called.

"Thank you," she repeated. "For being here. There's still so much I'd like to tell you, but I can't. But it matters that you're here." She rested her forehead against his.

"Can I spend the night with you?" She hoped he realized she meant it to be platonic for once. She certainly didn't feel the slightest bit seductive. But she could use the closeness, the presence of someone she liked.

[birthright_npc]

Nathan was pleased to feel the way in which Julianna's grip tightened and she was not pulling away from him. If anything she was coming closer, no longer trying to put distance between them. It was a relief, especially as he was not yet willing to let go of the older woman who had rocked his world since she'd first entered it.

"No need for thanks," he said with a shake of his head, fingers combing through her hair and lips pressing against her temple in an oddly tender moment. He then fell silent when she admitted there was still much to tell him and that she couldn't. She said that a lot, as though she was prohibited or scared. He couldn't decide which, but those were her secrets to keep as his were. He wasn't going to push, not if it meant that they stopped seeing one another.

As she pulled back, resting her forehead against his, his lips tugged into a smile and his gaze caught hers. "Of course," he said easily and without thought. He didn't need to know what she was thinking, he could understand her intent without the words. "I think it would be best if we got out of here now, don't you?"

[st_clare]

It was a slight struggle to get out of the chair, but that was only because standing up meant she had to let go of him. Her mug of tea still sat, untouched, on the table. It had probably gotten cold by now.

"I can get my car in the morning," she said, indicating the lot outside with a tilt of her head. "This is a good neighborhood and there's no time limit unless you park at the curb." She took his hand, linking her fingers with his.

"Just...take me home with you."