Back in the Game?

[st_clare]

Julianna had sent her letter to Edmund special post so he could respond as soon as possible, and he'd actually called her right away when he'd gotten the information she'd asked for. She'd added the relevant details to her personal notes out of habit. Even if no one else could read her writing, she knew what she'd written.

The fact that she had Valerie's daily schedule meant she'd had the option of meeting her after one of her classes. She could have even arranged for the girl to speak to her in her office. But she hadn't wanted to make it seem like an order or a command. To arrange an accident might have made the Slayer suspect her motives. When she didn't even know what her motives might be, it was best to leave things to chance.

The Watcher was currently seated at a table by herself in the student union, half of her attention on the daily paper. Emotionally, she felt as shaky and coltish as she had the day she first went away to university. Hope intermingled with terror as she finished one page of the newspaper and started on another. She didn't know if she was prepared for this. What if the girl wasn't interested in what she had to say?

Then again, this was a chance to correct what she still saw as her error. To fix her mistakes. If Valerie didn't respond positively, she would have at least made the effort. That was all she could truly do.

Comments

[valerie_vause]

Valerie smiled, the Watcher was being honest with her feelings which persuaded her to do the same. Granted she might not grasp exactly what it meant right then but she looked forward to having someone to talk to about such things. Plus the books Julianna had would no doubt be useful, the blonde could see the bright side already. “It’ll be nice to be able to discuss such things with someone other than myself.” Not that she spent a lot of time talking to herself, but there were occasions when she did to try and solve problems or answers to questions her mind kept repeating. Regardless she assumed Julianna would understand, why reach out otherwise?

Lips pressed together as she glanced at the woman. Tried to predict a reaction before she reached into her back pocket and curled her fingers around the small, dark pebble of a stone. In moments of deep thought she’d taken to rubbing her thumb against it. The motion soothing in its own right. If trust were to be earned it had be shown in kind, Valerie reasoned with herself, then scooped the stone out of her pocket to place it on the table between them. “So far it hasn’t done anything.” She shrugged lightly. “But since it could potentially do anything or nothing I didn’t want to leave it laying around for any kind of surprises. So where I go it’s gone, seemed safer that way.”

Though she paused, teeth capturing her lower lip for a split second before she added, “All I ask is that I get it back when you’re done.” Valerie could have listed reasons why, all of them valid, but the truth was she knew, unequivocally, that she’d see Beth again. It would be on her terms once she knew her true identity. She wasn’t entirely convinced that it bothered her. Perhaps in a sense, more bothered that she wasn’t.

“Oh, no, I mean yes you did give me your number, no I won’t need it again because I wrote it down in case random catastrophe struck.” Valerie cringed and brought one hand up to press against her forehead. That must have sounded horrible. Yes I kept it to warn of impending doom, make sure to call your loved ones before we’re all in pieces.

[st_clare]

The sudden humor on Julianna's face caused her features to soften into a more approachable expression, and the corners of her mouth lifted as she smiled. "I know how random catastrophes can ruin a perfectly good day. You can be having a marvelous time on an outing, and the next thing you know, the world's ending."

She regarded the stone where it sat on the table between herself and Valerie. It looked unremarkable. Certainly not as ominous as something that had been handed off by a questionable entity. The Watcher picked it up, held it in the palm of her left hand. The obsidian surface was so smooth that it seemed as if it had been polished. The weight was negligible. If it had emanations coming from it, she wasn't aware of it.

"I'll return it as soon as I can," she assured the Slayer, putting the stone into the pocket of her slacks. It mingled with the spare change and the cafeteria receipt from when she'd purchased her lunch. Her sandwich was nearly finished, just the end of the bread still resting on the napkin. "And I'll let you know what I learn, if I learn anything at all."

The older woman put away her notepad, rubbed the back of her neck. "Is there anything you wanted to ask me right now? Any concerns to discuss?"

[valerie_vause]

“Funny how it never happens when you feel like it should, only when things are going well, then boom, imminent danger. Kind of like when you want the ground to open up and swallow you.” Valerie mused aloud, clearly at ease with bantering back and forth, even if it was silly hypothetical situations.

She watched the elder take the stone. One brief nod given to say she was fine with that since it would be returned. There was no supernatural pull from it, or at least, none that she herself felt. Yet, there was a fleeting sense of loss now that she no longer had it in her possession. Perhaps due to carrying it around ever since, or perhaps something a little darker, even if she didn’t know it and had no way to explain it. As if some inner part of her, the essence within her veins, considered it her property. A gift from one thing to another, a keepsake of remembrance, a reminder that she wasn’t entirely human. It could be any number of those things, Valerie didn’t dissect it, just experienced the short sensation.

“I think I covered the biggest.” Valerie said with a slight grin then sipped at her soda. “I can’t really think of anything else right now, but if you have concerns or questions for me then feel free to say so.” Would there be any? Had Julianna put things together in her mind and came to a conclusion or was she oblivious? Valerie couldn’t be sure, but given what she now knew, Julianna had probably pieced it together. It seemed unlikely that the elder was in the dark but Valerie wasn’t about to bring anything else up. The dark red apple that had been tempting her found itself wrapped in her fingers and brought to her mouth. The first bite was crisp and she chewed it quietly.

[st_clare]

The seconds ticked by on the slender gold watch Julianna wore as she pondered Valerie's words. There was something, but it was difficult to articulate. While being open was something she could get used to, it was an acquired skill, not a natural one.

"I want you to understand, I'm not planning to try and make you fit into the mold that was cast to make Allison who she was. You're not just a Slayer, you're an individual being, your own person. If I'm to truly rebuild, I have to start fresh. Perhaps I'll never be able to forget the past, but I'm not intending to re-create it, either."

Her smile tightened when she finished speaking, but the honesty made her breathe more easily. "I can't guarantee that I'll always be easy to get along with," she cautioned the blonde. "I'm stubborn and difficult and set in my ways. I can be arrogant. But I also want this to work. Sometimes you have to take a risk or nothing happens."

She had unconsciously begun to remove the label from her water bottle while she talked, and she crumpled it in a loose fist. "I should let you go," she said, beginning to gather her things. "It's just past the middle of the day and I'm sure you have a class to attend or a lecture to get to. As for me, there's a stack of papers on my desk that I should deal with. With the Thanksgiving holiday approaching, school won't be in session in a couple of weeks. I'd like to have the scutwork cleared away so I can enjoy the time off."

She'd have to find a hidden spot in her office to put the stone, somewhere the cleaning people wouldn't find it. Valerie might carry it everywhere with her, but as a Watcher Julianna was more cautious. Psychic energy could be powerful, and until she was certain of what properties 'Beth's' token possessed, she was wary of bringing it into her home. With the notes she'd made, she could consult her books that night, then study the stone.

"I wish you a pleasant afternoon, Ms...Valerie," the older woman said as she slowly pushed her chair back to get to her feet. A sheepish smile. Damned formality.

[valerie_vause]

One bite became three as Valerie watched the elder woman work out if she had something to say. Silence lingered save the noise of a crisp bite now and then. When Julianna spoke green eyes took in the sight of someone trained to be stoic so very blatantly uncomfortable. From tight smile to shredded label that scattered around the bottle like sad confetti. It was strange and equally intriguing. Temporarily it appeared the roles were reversed. The blonde tilted her head then took a sip of soda.

“I’m glad you said that, I don’t fit very well into molds other than my own. Especially when forced.” Lips quirked slightly as one shoulder raised. “I don’t think we’re meant to forget our past. It’s what makes us who we are, without it all, we’d be someone entirely different.”

Valerie paused for a second, nodded as if an internal debate had been decided, then took in a slow breath. “In the spirit of being honest.” She held Julianna’s gaze and continued softly, “I can be stubborn and set in my ways too which means you might find me difficult at times in return. I’m not going to go out of my way to push your buttons, that’s not who I am. I do want this to work but I need to know that when we talk openly, when we disagree, that it stays between us. I work better without constant worry that what I’ve said isn’t getting me shipped off to… Well, the mother land of Watchers for correcting.”

Julianna was right, sometimes you had to take a risk. Lately it seemed like she’d been doing a lot of that and it unsettled her, but right then it had been necessary to be very frank with the woman. Valerie did want it to work, but only if the Council played no part in it. The last thing she wanted to do was confide something, or state something that wound up getting her in some sort of trouble. Granted she didn’t run around at night attempting to break laws but occasionally she had to break down a door or get creative with property that happened to be at hand.

“I wouldn’t want to keep you from that.” The blonde gently teased, clearly regarding the prospect of grading papers as much fun as having to write them. Valerie stopped the laughter but not the amusement as the Watcher caught herself doing the very thing she’d suggest they stop. “I enjoyed our talk, Julianna, I hope you have a good rest of the day.”