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birthright_rpg2013-12-26 08:13 pm
valerie_vause) wrote in birthright_rpg2013-12-26 08:13 pm
Any Other Way
After leaving the bathroom to see that Madeleine had already gone Valerie let out a sigh and left too. It wasn’t until she’d walked three blocks that she realised her feet were instinctively taking her to Brian’s place. The conversation should have happened with him first, but the brunette had asked the questions and she hadn’t been prepared to lie. They were choices both of them had made. Though she wasn’t ashamed of how she felt she understood the importance of sharing it. Not doing so would feel like a lie in and of itself. Whatever Brian thought of her, she hoped it would never be as a liar.
It wasn’t until she reached to knock on his door that she realised her hands were shaking. Societies views were as much a cage to her free will as the Council was to her life. The idea would be more than frowned upon despite the radical changes that had occurred over the past decade and truth be told she was afraid. Afraid of the way he’d look at her like she’d turned into some sort of monster. Afraid that being honest would ruin everything. That she’d lose him before actually having him. Properly having him but then, she feared his intensity too. How could she live up to his expectations? She wasn’t perfect, she wished she was, sometimes, for him. Normal just wasn’t a word that would ever be used to describe her, in any sense of her life.
Valerie knocked on the door before the urge to contemplate how much money she had in the bank sent her fleeing to another country to escape the situation. She didn’t want to hurt him. She wanted more than anything to protect him, but she had to be honest. He deserved that.
It wasn’t until she reached to knock on his door that she realised her hands were shaking. Societies views were as much a cage to her free will as the Council was to her life. The idea would be more than frowned upon despite the radical changes that had occurred over the past decade and truth be told she was afraid. Afraid of the way he’d look at her like she’d turned into some sort of monster. Afraid that being honest would ruin everything. That she’d lose him before actually having him. Properly having him but then, she feared his intensity too. How could she live up to his expectations? She wasn’t perfect, she wished she was, sometimes, for him. Normal just wasn’t a word that would ever be used to describe her, in any sense of her life.
Valerie knocked on the door before the urge to contemplate how much money she had in the bank sent her fleeing to another country to escape the situation. She didn’t want to hurt him. She wanted more than anything to protect him, but she had to be honest. He deserved that.
no subject
Brian stood up. He picked up the vodka by the neck of the bottle and let it dangle between his fingers.
“Okay.” He smiled a little brokenly and wiped a hand over his face. “I guess it didn’t occur to you that I might need more than ten minutes to process this. Or maybe it doesn’t matter what I need because what you feel right now is so urgent that you can’t stand to live with it for another minute, well…” He shook his head.
There was nothing left to say. If Valerie wasn’t willing to let these admittedly fluid thoughts she’d had today settle down, there was nothing he could do to change her mind.
He wiped his eye against his shoulder and laughed, a hoarse and humorless sound. “Ah, god, Valerie.” He set the bottle on the floor and walked away from it, in the direction of his bedroom.
The bottle vibrated, cracked, and began to leak its contents on the rug.