There had been another word Valerie had probably intended to say, and Julianna sat in silence after the blonde finished speaking. It wasn't truly surprising that the girl would bring it up. Part of the Council's directive was that Slayers were meant to be solitary, without friends or family. They were strongly encouraged to refrain from forming any attachments at all. Supposedly, that made them stronger.
"Hmm."
It was a thoughtful noise, and the Watcher ran one finger around the lip of her mug. "I know that it can be very difficult to maintain secrecy and form friendships at the same time. There's always the worry that you'll say too much, or that you'll tell something to the wrong person and the information will be used against you. Vampires gossip among their own kind, tell tales because they can't help themselves. They're worse than schoolchildren."
She said it with slight humor, but it was a serious subject and she knew it. As an academic, and then in the employ of the Council, she'd had less trouble carving out a slice of normality for herself, but most of her friends and close acquaintances were other Watchers, researchers with ties to the Council, or people interested in the supernatural. The others were colleagues at the schools she'd taught at, and she was never quite comfortable with them in social situations.
"The teenage years are such a difficult time," she offered carefully. "It's when most young people are being prepared to leave the nest. They're encouraged to socialize, engage in activities outside of school, possibly find employment. Being called disrupts that just when it's beginning to happen. All through training, girls are constantly told how important it is that they keep others at arm's length."
The older woman lifted her shoulders into a shrug. "I'm not planning to condemn you, if that's your concern. It's human instinct to want companionship, on whatever terms are agreeable to you. Being a Slayer only alters you physically, not emotionally."
Julianna paused long enough to drink some of her cooling tea, looked beyond the patio to the expanse of the street she could see. Weak afternoon sunlight glinted off of windshields of cars as they passed by. A minute passed. Then two more minutes.
"Is there...is there a...particular friend?" She asked it very carefully indeed, even cringing a little at the possibility that she was intruding. What if it was too soon for Valerie's comfort for her to ask that?
no subject
"Hmm."
It was a thoughtful noise, and the Watcher ran one finger around the lip of her mug. "I know that it can be very difficult to maintain secrecy and form friendships at the same time. There's always the worry that you'll say too much, or that you'll tell something to the wrong person and the information will be used against you. Vampires gossip among their own kind, tell tales because they can't help themselves. They're worse than schoolchildren."
She said it with slight humor, but it was a serious subject and she knew it. As an academic, and then in the employ of the Council, she'd had less trouble carving out a slice of normality for herself, but most of her friends and close acquaintances were other Watchers, researchers with ties to the Council, or people interested in the supernatural. The others were colleagues at the schools she'd taught at, and she was never quite comfortable with them in social situations.
"The teenage years are such a difficult time," she offered carefully. "It's when most young people are being prepared to leave the nest. They're encouraged to socialize, engage in activities outside of school, possibly find employment. Being called disrupts that just when it's beginning to happen. All through training, girls are constantly told how important it is that they keep others at arm's length."
The older woman lifted her shoulders into a shrug. "I'm not planning to condemn you, if that's your concern. It's human instinct to want companionship, on whatever terms are agreeable to you. Being a Slayer only alters you physically, not emotionally."
Julianna paused long enough to drink some of her cooling tea, looked beyond the patio to the expanse of the street she could see. Weak afternoon sunlight glinted off of windshields of cars as they passed by. A minute passed. Then two more minutes.
"Is there...is there a...particular friend?" She asked it very carefully indeed, even cringing a little at the possibility that she was intruding. What if it was too soon for Valerie's comfort for her to ask that?